I divorced my H about a year ago. Our marriage of only 2 years was filled with no communication, some abusive behavior, and me feeling very alone...a lot. We would fight and he would threaten me of divorce saying it wasn't working. He never left though..they were all empty threats. Long story short after some counsling and books I left him. One night after he blew his top and I mine I walked out and never came back....until now. Let me explain...
My divorce was final a few months ago. I met another man who I got along with alright. He was very nice and all but shame on me for jumping into something so soon. So anyway when I got my final divorce papers my whole world was turned upside down. I thought about H often but refused to let me miss him or think of going back. ...DENILE.
After I left H went to a 2 month anger managment class at our hospital..he attended counciling and stopped a lot of his bad behavior, drinking, fighting..etc. He swears he will NEVER hurt me again. I've never seen him hurt so bad or be so consistant about something. So I decided to hang out with him and see if he has in fact changed.
My question is..can someone who's been abusive and mean really change. From what I see now he's a totally different man. He opens up to me like never before. He has admitted to his wrong doings. He says he never thought I'd leave but when I did part of his heart died. When I'm with him I feel at home and comfortable. I miss our life together...him making me laugh and holding me, going on vacations with him...everyting..well all the good stuff anyway. I don't miss the bad stuff. I am scared that he will hurt me again but I think that's normal. I have my wall up but if he's changed I want the wall to come down.
If anybody has been in my situation or can give me any advice please help. I would appreciate anything.....Thanks guys! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

I think that if you love him and this still feels right...you have to go for it. I'm not saying full throttle but slowly. You know you have no guarantees that you won't get hurt again, but you will know. If you don't give this at least one more try, you will always think in the back of your mind...What if.

The divorce may have changed him, I dunno, you must make sure that the addictions from the past are truly being dealt with before you go into it. That is why this must be a slow process.

I wish you the very best of luck.

That's one huge reason why I'm doing this....the whole "what if"...I need to know I tried my best to make it work. I don't want to walk away when there is still love there. I wish more people would give their marriages a second chance. The grass isn't greener on the other side.
Thanks for your well wishes and I wish you the best too....

Hi DMS,

Give him 8-12 months to prove himself. No sex.
Just friends. Dates. Not too much time together. See if he stays consistent.

Sent with Love, Ladysheep