Where should I start? Men do not usually seek help but I am . Kids are grown & out. I am not a good communicator & the wife wants to discuss what bothers her and me both. She seems to want to talk but we never change. Marriage tapes have not helped. I just see other married people getting help there. I cannot open up and talk always. My emotional barriers are from her sharp responses from so much of the past. Both of us have baggage to unload but she seems to never let the past go.. I can. She is controling and I am easy-going. I am the calm one,she is the hyper one.

More than that however. I really want a mediator or someone to help me and her to rebuild our relationship. we cannot seem to do it alone.

She is very upset when I mention help for our problems. I overlook her requests sometimes. I do not like that but it happens. She gets upset. I do not say hello in the morning and she gets upset. She thinks I purposely ignore here when she's going out the door. I would rather not say anything for fear of getting a verbal lashing. is this menopause.? ouch.

I need the help with this more so than her but she is adament about me talking even to the pastor. Is that right? I trust the pastor but I really think she is embarrased about anyone knowing we do not get along too well.

She's repeatedly said I can move out. My stuff is now out of her (our) room and she's the one who did it. I am an easy-going guy and always willing to help but she's just not going to do much for me..I have my own room now but it's better only for the fact that I toss and turn and she's a lite sleeper.

Too much to write in one session. any takers on advice? I want to tell the pastor but maybe there's another way to get this going again. If she is unwilling to accept that we need help, I will have to force the matter.

I have no other women in my life for now. This is difficult. I still have passion but this is so depressing to be hoping for a solution. I feel locked in neutral.

Brother - I would immediately get outside help even though she may resist it. Don't be afraid to show her your post here and my advice. You both need to be accountable to salvage your M. I would begin by getting your pastor's counsel and prayers. It's time to face reality and put the embarassment, shame, etc. to the side. You are in a crisis situation and must treat it as one. Your W especially needs to face facts and "get out of the easy chair". For you, I would suggest getting involved in a men's ministry in church and check out the Promise Keepers website. You may also want to consider getting an accountability partner. Your W should get involved in a women's ministry and get an accountability partner also. Fill out the EN's questions and start communicating. I love you both and will be praying for you. God bless!