Praying,

I decided to create a new topic to reply rather than try to post over quipper and jade's novels.

How are you? Your post really hit home. My H was very physically and verbally abusive at one point in our marriage. He is also a professional with a doctorate degree. In the past, he would always justify his actions by saying I drove him to hit me or I pushed him to the point that he would lose control and verbally abuse me. He always blamed me for his actions. It took me a while to realize that I had NO CONTROL over him. He and only he controls his actions. However, by staying with him for 7 years, I was also in the "wrong", because I had in effect relinquished control of my own life and condoned his behavior by accepting it. I stayed in an abusive relationship, when all I had to do was leave.

Seek guidance from your priest, I did and this is what he told me: "Leave him. You have NO MORAL obligation to a man who treats you this way." I was appalled and sought guidance from a different priest and I was shocked when he told me the same thing!!!

Be strong and know that a person who really loves you will nurture your spiritual development.

Take care, I wish you the best...