I have a friend...and I really do have a friend..anyway, Her boyfriend is always questioning her..what is she wearing, who is she with, and never beleives her. She always has to explain EVERYTHING to him, and he always thinks shes lieing! She is very pretty, but also extremly faithful. She has never cheated on him.... Hes in KOREA right now because we are military, but before that he was here, and it was even worse! If she misses a call on her phone he goes crazy! Whats up and how can she resolve this issue! She loves him but he just wont quit, hes driving her nutso! Any ideas??Thanks

Dear Daniele V,

Welcome to Marriage Builders.

One thing that comes to mind is under Negotiations, a post by TOOMUCHCOFFEEMAN, is 180 Degree Divorce Busters. One of the ideas there is not to check on your spouse. Reading the 180 Degree Concepts may give you some positive ideas.

A direct statement of a request is sometimes helpful in a marriage. The request that comes to mind is for her to say to him, "Honey, I want you to know that I am being fathful to you. I want you to feel comfortable about my being true to you. I understand that jeoulusy is part of love, and I appreciate your showing your love for me through expressions of concern about anything that may indicate anything tending about temptation. But I feel you are really anxious about my being true. How can I do better at giving you a more comfortable feeling. I feel that I am not doing a good job at letting you know that I am true to you, because you seem so up tight about it. Really, you are so nervous, that it makes me a little uncomfortable. Please think of what I can do to make you feel more comfortable about letting you know that I am being true to you, so we can both be more comfortable."

Quipper
Husband of 28 years, raised 2 challenging kids, still struggling

<small>[ November 02, 2003, 10:58 AM: Message edited by: Quipper ]</small>