i married a woman with 2 children from her ex, 2yr old and 8 yr old. i have known her for 9 years, dated on and off for three in the ninetiey, reunited and were married three months ago. at the time, i was making good money, i bought a house, etc etc. she became pregnant, and had a torn placenta and had to go on leave from her job. my hours were drastically cut at my job, costing us another 9K per year. Her ex pays no child support and hasnt in years (they were never married but were together on and off for nine years and she lived with him for 3). He is allowed to see the kids whenever he wants, provided he gives us a weeks notice. I have to drive them to my mother in laws (1 hour ride) because he is not allowed to know where we live due to threats and conflicts etc. And, i have to pick them up four hours later (he is not allowed to keep the children overnite). Due to our recent situation, i have asked that he begin paying child support or that he not be allowed to see the kids. I dont feel that i should put myself out any longer, spend my gas, or my time to appease this man who sees the children a couple times every few monts and around the holidays. And, since he contributes no money for their daily support, he is able to by them all of these lavish gifts and take them places that my wife and i can not afford to do. I feel this is unfair. Every time we ask him for money, he says he is not working, yet he pays his rent, bought a car, and a new motorcycle. I have threatened to take him to court, and in my state, if he does not pay (which he wont), dead beat dads go to jail. My wife accuses me of taking the kids' father away, and that im not willing to step up to replace him. I disagree. I pay all of the bills, the school costs, grocery, transportation, recreation we can afford, etc. etc. She says i am not affectionate to her son. I think i am. This stems because i dont hug him every nite at bed time. I feel that men should bond in ohter ways, such as i play sports with him and we have "father" son time where its just me and him that go out. She lets the ex see the kids because he does buy things for them that we need, such as winter coats, diapers, gloves, and small things of the like. My position is that this does not constitute child support. She agreed with me at first, and we decided that he and his family would no longer be allowed to see the kids until they started paying the child support which is 400/month. Then, she took her son to her mothers, comes home six hours later, and says "dont get mad, but can you pick him up tomorrow after he sees his dad?". Well, ive just about had it, a big fight erupted and she says she regrets marrying me, and i said me too and that im in way over my head and can no longer afford to support her and two kids on my own. But, i feel bad because the house is mine (premarital property), along with both cars and just about everything else. She has nothing, and nowhere to go. I love her very much, and i love the kids. But, things have gotten to the point now that we just ignore each other and i dont even want to go home from work anymore. Last nite, i even slept in a different bed than her, at her request. What should i do????
