Hello all..I'm new here.I'm 32 and have been married for 6 years and have 2 children.

I have a jealous problem and I can't go on anymore. I read all the post in the thread about "Wife's jealousy hurts".I am just like alx1970's wife.I hate it. My life is a living hell.I do not trust my husband.He has lied to me and it has taken my trust away.My husband turns his head when women show up on the TV.He walks around shopping malls and stores with his head bent down, so he can avoid looking at women.He does not speak to a woman unless he has to.He does all of this because of ME.Because I hate the way I look, the way I sound, laugh everything.I don't want him to look around and see better. I don't want him to like some other womans laugh. You see, I need HELP.It all started when I started to pay a closer look at things.He had to talk to every check out girl.He even told me nasty jokes about women.He would tell me about a check out girl that everytime he goes into the store she is always standing around doing nothing(and once in front of me he asked her if she ever works, and when she said yeah why, he told her because everytime I come in here your always standing around, smiling and laughing the whole time). How does he know that unless he was paying her attention.I told him to stop talking to those girls like that and he did. Later I asked him why he really stoped talking to them and he said because I wanted him to. I asked him if he wanted to and he said no not really I don't want to stop.So what do you all think about my jealous problem? I just need to talk. I need people to throw out ?'s for me.I need to get over this. Please, Please help.Oh, I also aske him about how many girls were at his dad's and ect..He always says he doesn't know he never paid attention..But then I talk to his dad's girlfriend and she says how my husband was helpfull about doing something for her and her perfect daughter.So confused and hurt. And I have No where to turn..

I will offer you the same comments I made to "Wife's Jealousy Hurts". It is up to you to address your self-esteem issues and move on with your life. God does not intend for you to live under this type of bondage. You will eventually lose your H and all you hold dear if you continue on this course. Please refamiliarize yourself with the advice offered, then make a decision of your will to do it. Life, and marriage, is too precious to squander. God bless you!

LittleBell,
Have you sought out individual counseling to help you come to terms with your jealousy issues? I think that is the most important thing you need to think about. You've got the desire to change, now you need a professional to help you get where you want to be.
Don't wait for your marriage to fall apart. It sounds like your husband is very willing to please you...don't keep going down this path or he will have no reason to keep trying to please someone who is unreasonable, untrusting, and unsatiable.
You are right. You do have a serious problem. Jealousy is a disease in its own right. Get professional help. It was very brave of you to admit your problem. I admire your willingness to tackle it.
Good luck.
Smile

This has been an ongoing thing.I have had this problem for 5 years.My husband and I have been together for a total of 9 years.He has put up with it and has suffered for years.Now he hit's me when I say anything about another woman. He punishes me also when I do something he does not approve of. If I do not feel up to the task of washing his back, he will refuse me love and affection.Like this morning I refused to wash his back because I felt a little sick and did not feelup to it, in return he punishes me by not going to buy me ciggaretts for the day.Maybe I have a good reason for this problem I have. He has beat me down to were I have no self respect for myself and believe I am a ugly worthless person.So I need to get over my problem,right.Easy said. Harder to do.The only help I can get is to talk on message boards. my husband does not want me to seek help. WHY? Maybe because I might find out I'm just his slave.Thank you all for your help. I need people to talk to about this.Bless you.

In your earlier post you did not indicate you were being abused like this, so forget my earlier advice and get out of the house NOW. As a police chaplain I can tell you that you are playing with your life. Do you have children? If so, you have the obligation to remove them and yourself from this man immediately. Your jealousy issue is now secondary. I am praying for you!

After reading your posts, I believe your jealousy situation may be warranted. Take HPK's advice and get out. You do not deserve to be hit, EVER! If you still have jealousy issues later deal with them on your own. Not with him. My blood started to boil after reading that.

God Bless You.
Alex

This woman is really on my heart this evening. Would all Christians on this board please remember her in your prayers tonight. If I knew what her location was I would get her immediate help.

"Lord Jesus, We come to you as a body of believers as we desire to stand in the gap for this woman and her family. Jesus, we ask that You send angelic protection over her and we seek to bind that violent spirit in the name of Jesus and by the the blood of Jesus! Lord, we praise you ahead of time for doing a miraculous deliverance in this situation. We commit this precious woman and her kids to Your care this night. Jesus, please grant her peace and rest. In your precious Name we pray, Amen".

Thank you from the bottem of my heart for your thoughtful prayer.

I have been seeking God for years.I talk to Him everyday.I thank Him for the blessings He has given me.But I always ask Him why am I'm in a marriage like this.I get no answer. Why can't I help my husband care about me more than he cares for himself.I get no answer.Why am I in bondage with a jealous heart and why can't I stop the demons that have inter into my family.Why? I don't get answers.I know He is here and in my heart and soul.I know He answers in His own time and not my time.

I haven't been in danger. He doesn't abuse me that way. When we have words he will go into an angry outburst. First yelling then name calling then he will hit me and walk out the door.He knows if he stays any longer he will hit me more.So he leaves and cools off before returning home. Then he pretends nothing ever happend. And once in awhile I will get a "I'm sorry" from him.

I don't keep my abuse silent.I do tell my mother and my sisters.I have told his aunt and his mother knows about some of it.And so does his cousin whom is a police officer.And no, no one can say anything to him about it.

Yesterday I did stop the cycle.It all goes in stages.I know the warning signs. And I know what to do and that is not to say a word to him and let him live his life. He does not want to hear about what he has done that has hurt me, to him he does nothing wrong.He doesn't see nor does he understand that I have feelings of my own.In this marriage it'a all about making him happy.My feelings do not mean anything.All of this happens only when I say something about women.When I open my big mouth and out it comes, I push a button inside of his mind.He says he does not care about other women and it angers him that I can't get it through my stupid head.

I do not hit my husband, I do not call him names or put him down.When my feelings are hurt it angers him. He says I accuse him of looking at women.The only time I say something about him looking is when he stares at a girl on the TV a little bit longer than I can handle.I tell him I saw him and then it happens.But keep in mind I have done this to him for 5 years.He can't take it anymore. I can't take it either.But something is keeping us together.And the only thing I can think of is it's Gods will.If my husband and I can pull through this one day, nothing will ever come between us.

I have been a new believer in the Christian way of life.My husband is not there yet. But he does speak of God.HE does talk to me about Him when I start to speak of Him.Tell me someone is there hope for us? Sorry about my rambling.Nothing I have written is written well.But I try.

Thank you again for the prayer. May God Bless YOU.

There is a hope for you both and that help is in Jesus. Please take the time to read the Book of John and ask your H to read it with you. Find a Spirit-filled church and get involved, preferably one with a strong marriage support group. If H hits you once that is physical abuse. He needs to be held accountable for it. If his family is no help to you then go elsewhere. Your life is too precious to waste. I'm still praying for you.

Little Bell, the problem is not with your husband looking at another woman on TV or in the check out stand. Heck, all men do that and it means nothing. Pretty women are everywhere, that is the fact and men appreciate beauty. AND, The problem is not with him hitting you. The problem is that you ALLOW him to hit you, and then forgive him and make excuses for him. The problem is the lack of value that you (or others) have placed on yourself, and my heart breaks for you. I can tell that you are a good and loving person, with the willingness to do what God wants, and you want to please your spouse. BUT God does NOT want you to be hit, nor does he want you to be victimized. That is coming from another source, and it isn't from The Lord!You should NEVER be hit, no matter WHAT!!!!!Please seek help and guidance from your pastor, or a women's clinic, IMMEDIATELY or if you will give your e mail address on this board, from me. I will be your friend and support you because you sound like you have reached out for help and no one has listened. I will listen as will everyone on this board. We care. Your inner beauty shines through, and you deserve more than a man who makes you wash his back to buy you cigarettes. (And in the future, please quit smoking anyway.) Please keep us posted, and may God take care of you.