My husband got laid off a year ago July. He has been laid off before but usually he takes a job that is financially less than the one he had before. Initially things looked good because he got a temp job making more than he made full-time at his previous job but I kept telling him to keep looking but he rarely even applied for a full-time permanent job during the year he held this temp job in mortgage. After temping a year they abruptly let all the temps go. The whole time they lead the temps to believe they could become permanent full-time employees. I told my husband that this is not a promise. So July of this year after being laid off, this time he has elected to substitute teach. This sounds good to all his relatives but it pays much less than half of what he made previously.
I must mention that I have been laid off about three times in the last ten years but always managed to get the same or higher paying jobs. FYI: my husband does have a degree in business administration but he chooses as he said "not to work in the corporate setting". I feel when you have a family you have to do what it takes, if that means working at Burger King then do it! My husband thinks he is too good to do this. This mentality is what has gotten many families put out of their homes!
Guess who carries the full-time job, health insurance, pays the entire mortgage, my car note, groceries, etc.- me! Actually, the only thing my husband pays for me is my car and life insurance, light & gas. We have another house and he does pay the small mortgage on it but it is rented so he gets it back and a little extra. When I try to bring up the finances he gets mad. I am to the point of telling him I want a divorce. Before I married him I had my own apartment and furniture and only had me to worry about along with only $400 credit card debt. Our children are now 20 & 19 so I have raised our kids. By the way our 20 year old has an apartment and goes to college in a town about 1 1/2 hours away. Our 19 year old has not gotten her high school diploma or GED (she is working on this).
My husband who has pastored a church he started but the house was sold and the ministry ended.
Now he wants to start another church but he will not even talk to our 19 year old daughter about coming in at 3:00 am or completing her GED or anything! I talk to her he does not! I resently went to Dallas, TX on business leaving both of them at home, I called him to ask him where was our daughter and he said he did not know. What? You are her father! How can I support him as I have in the past in his ministry if he does not "rule his house well". It is not like he has shown me attention either, yes, it is my fault I put up with it so long but I came from a divorced home and I wanted my daughters to at least have a father in the house. At this time I feel it hurt my youngest daughter for me to stay when she can easily see that he is all breath and britches and nothing else. I also hate that my husband only peck kisses me all the time instead of a real tongue kiss like normal couples. During he day he shows no affection to me but magically in the bedroom (about every two weeks) I am supposed to come alive for him although he shows no physical kissing or hugging unless initiated by me. Quite honestly I used to think he was gay/molested because I have never seen a man act towards me as he does, but this is my husband and inspite of all this I do love him! My husband did not always act like this. When I resently asked him about it he said that since I used to treat him "so mean" when we first got married he decided that he would not give all of himself. I was appalled! So here he was trying to preach to me on Sunday and holding a grudge from our past agruments some 20+ years ago! Any suggestions! I do want a divorce, now!
