My H of 19 years and I have been divorced for 6 mo. We weren't able to sell our house right away, so it was another 4 mo before we actually moved apart from each other, so it's only been 2 mo since we moved into our own places. My EX- H seems to have already picked up the pieces and is seeing a girl from work already. I am still so emotional, sad and lonely that I have a hard time getting thru the day without sobbing and he's on to the next girl. We had some major problems in our marriage, the first being his alcoholism. He finally had stopped drinking for nearly 10 years, but in the last year before the divorce he started again and now he is going to bars and drinking beer frequently again. Our 2nd major problem was sex. My Ex-H has been diabetic for years (since age 11) and developed erectile dysfunction. He did absolutely nothing about this for over a year,which caused so much pain in our relationship. I blamed myself...was I no longer attractive to him? Was he having an affair..on and on. His only answer to me was "I'm just tired". It eventually came to a point where we no longer had sex. The last several years of our marriage we slept in the same bed, but we were like brother and sister. I thought he was just totally impotent. Well, now my daughter (18 who stays over at his house sometimes) came in late one night and walked in on him and the new GF having sex! She was so shocked she told me about it. I cannot tell you how painful that is for me, divorce or not. He wouldn't touch me for years, but now all of a sudden he can have sex with her? I feel almost betrayed. That sexual issue absolutely was the capper to destroying our relationship. This is messing with my confidence in myself and my attractiveness and everything. What was wrong with me? I keep picturing him in my head with her. My God I cannot believe how much it hurt me to hear he could be sexual with someone else. I don't know what I'm asking for here, I just don't know how to deal with my anger and pain. Can anybody help? Thank you for your input.

Don't blame yourself. Maybe he finally saw a doctor for his problem.

Well he actually did see a doctor and he put him on Viagra which worked a little bit, but never seemed to work really well. But maybe he found another medicine. It really feels more like he found a better woman. I hate feeling this way.

Different is not always better but can make a difference.
Besides, maybe he was only able to perform once and got caught. How well do you think he did after his Daughter walked in <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Yes, you're so right there! My daughter about died and so did he! If nothing else I guess he'll be a bit more careful from here on out. Thanks for lifting my spirits a bit!

6 mos is not much time to heal, especialy when you have realy only had 2 to try.

Keep a positive attitude about yourself. Be good to your self.

I always find myself qouting TooMuchCoffeeMan from a post I read. I also follow the advice often.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Focus on 4 key words. Every day, every hour and every minute if need be, plaster your mind with these 4 life-saving words: I WILL MAKE IT! This becomes your mantra. Wake up with it. Put it on your mirror. Eat lunch with it. Go to sleep with it. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Hang in there and give yourself some time. Things will get better.

<small>[ January 14, 2004, 04:01 PM: Message edited by: WishI WereHome ]</small>

Thanks.I did exactly that. Wrote it down and put it on my mirror, maybe I'll carry it with me to whip out whenever I need to see the words in print!