My husband and I have been married for 4 years. We we highschool sweethearts. I have known for sometime that there was a possibility that he had a son from a sexual realtionship he had.
I have always encouraged him to seek this young lady and her child out and find out for sure.
Well now she has resurfaced (w/an illness). My husband has begun a relatioship with this young man (now 12). Paternity has never been established. I am all for this relationship--however, I am still having to adjust to it all.

I asked my hubby not to visit this woman's home until I felt more comfortable with it..He agreed to respect my wishes
Well I have since found out that he has been to her home--I am HURT and Disappointed...and angry.
My husband is upset with me because he thinks that I am concerned with him being unfaithful
That is not the issue..I just feel as his wife and the mother of his child (born within the marriage) that he should take my feelings into consideration
Tension in our house is quite high now--even our young daughter is feeling it..
Any suggestions on how to get passed all of this?

Hi wantpeace,
Sorry for what you are going through, but you've found a great place in MB. Please read all you can and may I suggest reposting your story in a more active forum (EN or even the Pregnancy and child infidelity forum). I understand that infidelity is not an issue, but posters in that forum may be able to help you better.
Just continue to be honest and make sure you are creating an environment for honesty. In other words, show your H that you appreciate it when he is honest. Many people are quick to express frustrations, pain, and anger when they hear a hurtful truth and by doing that, they are discouraging further honesty. Right now, I think it is far better that he admit openly any involvement with this other women then become scared to be honest with you and begin to act secretly. Thank him for his honesty, validate his feelings, and then discuss the next steps using POJA (policy of joint agreement)--find out what it will take to make both of you enthusiastic about a solution. I think you should be prepared for some frustrations since you did encourage him to pursue his past.
Support him.
Be honest about your feelings.
Give him a safe environment for expressing his feelings and activities honestly.

Take care,
Smile