My wife and I have been married for 16 years.
About four months ago she moved out.She said
that she had given me my last chance that we were
not working together in our marriage I was doing
things my way and that was not how she wanted it
to be.We talk frequently and I tried to explain
that emotionally I have been unable to deal with
various changes that have occured in my life over
the last few years and consequently hurt the one
person that means the most to me.I told her that I
have had a lot of time to reflect on this and that
I believe we can work this out.She seems unwilling
to want to give me another chance and says she does not love me anymore.She says we have too much bad history and it is to hard for her to forget.I love her and do not want to stop trying
to get her back.I am looking for some insight as
to what to do?

becard,

It is great that you are able to talk frequently with your W. This gives you an opportunity to prove to her that you are looking closely at your past behaviors and that you are taking steps to change. Your W has been hurt. And maybe it is beyond repair but you need to prove to her you've changed.

Instead of telling her your going to change you need to find ways to prove to her that you've changed. Actions will speak louder than words.

Ask for her assistance in fixing your behaviors that caused the problems.

Say to her 'I understand that you feel it is over between us. I wish it weren't that way and I hope you give me a chance to prove to you that I have changed. Even if you don't give me a chance I need to ask a favor. Can you please tell me specifically what things I've done and continue to do that pushed you away? If I'm ever going to have someone in my life to love again I need someone to point out my bad behaviors. I'm aware of many of my bad traits but I can't see all of them. Once I realize what those behaviors are I can be more conscious of them and then I can work toward eliminating them.'