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Low Orbit
I think there may be something of a mis-understanding here. 2ofakind is actually a WS, who is pretty disgusted with his own behaviour, and feels strongly that BS's should be firm with Waywards. He referred to himself as a BS because his first wife left him for another man. Subsequently, he got engaged to J, and then cheated on her...'ending' the affair many times before J finally found out. His robust attitude is certainly refreshing to BS's who have to deal with sorry-for-themselves WS's in their own lives.
But I think, 2oak, that you didn't have a strong EMOTIONAL connection to your OW? I think it's that caring feeling that causes pain to the WS, and may make it harder for other WS's, like Low Orbit, to let go with quite such determination.
TA
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yeah, I knew I should've stayed out of this one.
Yes, it hit a bit close to home. I had some significant mid-life changes. I had to "find myself" again. Looking in my pants and at my drivers license wasn't a lot of help. It was a nightmare time.
I was repeatedly blown off and told to "snap out of it" by the tough love types. Unfortunately, the OW was very willing to take me seriously...
If this was humor about an African American, and he/she stated they were offended by it, would you accuse them of having no sense of humor?
Good humor edifies people - it doesn't tear down others for a few laughs. So, you're right...my sense of humor doesn't extend to that kind that makes fun of another's pain.
How many of us would find psycho BS jokes funny? I'd endeavor that most would be hurt.
All I'm asking is that we think about what will edify all when we post - men, women, BS, and WS alike. I've been guilty of not following my own advice lately, something I'm bent on changing.
I'm pretty disgusted with my behavior as well, but I've come to understand why I did what I did and I'm focused on staying healthy so it doesn't happen again. My beef has nothing to do with my affair, but the assertion that people who are experiencing mid-life trauma are in some way foolish or defective. Even if I hadn't had an affair at all, I'd still have a problem with this.
Sorry for intruding on what was intended to be "private humor". That's what my dad used to call jokes abouts blacks and Jews.
Low
<small>[ November 14, 2003, 11:37 AM: Message edited by: LowOrbit ]</small>
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Grrrrrrr......(sort of like a growl)
I have no fight left in me right now (nothing to do with you), anyways to answer your questions:
"If this was humor about an African American, and he/she stated they were offended by it, would you accuse them of having no sense of humor?"
Yes, I expect everyone should have a sense of humor!!!! I would also tell them to "lighten up"!
"Good humor edifies people - it doesn't tear down others for a few laughs. So, you're right...my sense of humor doesn't extend to that kind that makes fun of another's pain."
To you I say "DON'T TAKE EVERYTHING SO PERSONALLY". Duh, this post was not written to "tear anyone down" for laughs. Okay, the "lighten up" goes to you to.
Lets also throw blonds into the picture. Heck, we should start a blond jokes thread even! Any blond I've known and was worth knowing, which includes my own mother and very close friends, have all, strangely enough, possessed the same sense of humor and think all of those jokes are funny also (at least the funny ones, some blond jokes are lame).
"How many of us would find psycho BS jokes funny?"
I would!!! I would also think (good) jokes about people like me, the WS, funny also!!!
Are you getting my point yet??? Either you really don't possess a sense of humor or you are purposly just "stirring the sh#t stick" here to get a response. (Something my H loves to do to my one female friend who is very opinionated on certain topics)
To make a truce here, how about we all just put a "LowOrbit Warning Label" on our joke threads for you?
Wait a minute....Are you of the male gender?....That would explain more!!!!!!!!!!!!!
CA - I WIN!
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2OAK ; So...you're the guy who writes all of the office humor jokes. I always wondered.Michele Weiner-Davis or Dobson has nothing on you. Really good stuff. I liked the RCIS Syndrome ( very funny). But, the chord that was really struck with me was the "......quit being melodramatic....". Melodramatic sums up in a word how I view my WW behavior. When she is around, I feel like I am in some Lifetime channel melodrama.
She has, in my opinion, won at least two academy awards for her performances this month alone. She is a phenomenal actress.
Thanks for the laughs.
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Hey 2oak and you other Fws, would you ever consider sending an email on the behalf of the BS to a WS with a lovely list like that?! I ask this question b/c what if the WS has never gone on this site? 2oak, you and others say things that wouldn't even touch home if I tried. And when you are in a n/c mode then you know I couldn't send things like this that are amazing and should be passed on. Is this a bad idea? Don't beat me up if it is.
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Thanks for bringing back Two of A Kind! I miss him. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> He has a great sense of humor. He always finds the perfect way to get his point across. He helped me a lot, sometimes saying things, I knew my husband felt but could not say. In fact, I read one of his postings that I felt summed up how my H felt to my H. He agreed that is how he felt but could not find the words. I think ToaK is what a lot of what BS want from their WS. He communicates how he feels about what he did, with the passion of man who truly feels devestated by the mistakes he has made and the pain he has cause J. If he is still around, I would say thanks. Your time spent posting helped. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
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Ok CA...you win, if that's important to you. You're right...I took this way too personal. Perhaps it really wasn't meant to portray WS's in a disrepectful manner.
Hey, screw me if I can't take a joke, right? It does no good to fight about this.
It hurt me. I know it wasn't meant to - it was all in fun - but it still stung.
I truly wish you all a wonderful evening.
<deep cleansing breath>
LowOrbit
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boobyprize, I miss him too (but don't tell him that). He is busy these months in retail I'm told, but I "know" he is lurking now and then. LowOrbit, I've already been doubting myself and contemplating appologizing. When I saw you had replied again, I read some other replies of yours to get a feel for your mood. You have very good advice to offer people here and I would not want anyone to loose you (not that I could possibly have that much impact on you - but I don't want to be a contributing factor if you ever did leave). So here goes......I am sorry.....You have just as much right to voice your opinions as anyone else. I am sorry though that the joke offended you. This really wasn't my "usual" self, I don't think anyways. Call it temporary insanity which was kid induced along with fear of being without H this whole weekend, then three days next week, then all the following weekend. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> Can you forgive me? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> ca ----------- I am the FWW 40 H - 41 Daughter - 14, mild ADHD Son - 7, extreme ADHD? Married 17 years D-Day 9/03 A began in 2000 w/ H's FBF (only 5-6 times over 3 yr period) Has been NC since before dday <small>[ November 15, 2003, 05:10 AM: Message edited by: chocolate..addict ]</small>
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Sure I can. But there's nothing to forgive, really. Its the nature of open forum message boards for people to be able to express themselves freely. It was my mistake for being so thin skinned. I was having a bad day as well.
All is ok...
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Just bumping this post up. It's one of my all-time favorites. I miss 2OAK. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />
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2ofaKind You mean there there is another one like you out here? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> Are the rest of us safe <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> very good post H
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Bump for those who could use it.
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Well, this is just priceless. Thanks to whoever bumped it. Edited to say. Uh thanks to Trix. Good grief I am dense sometimes. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> Funny read. Really put into perspective the "I don't know who I am or what I want" speech. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> Bravo 2oak. Tiggy <small>[ March 12, 2005, 01:18 PM: Message edited by: Tiggy ]</small>
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Bump.
Man, how many times i had to hear some variation of my WW stating this and other adhoc rectal cranium diatribes.....
LTL
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