i wrote ages ago about this but it was n't resolved just got worse. my dh got a bonus - larger than we have ever got before. Originally it was set aside to start a business which didn't proceed. Then he assumed it was all for himself. Note that I have never spent any previous smaller bonuses on myself. Decided he wanted a sports car then backed down to buy a suped up mini. this is not a family car. family car assumed to be my car. was to test drive car before buying but found a 'phone message about his purshase of new car. Turns out he had taken time off work to go to dealer (very long distance away) to test drive car & then ordered it without my knowledge. He had spent the previous week-end catching up on work claiming he was flooded with work. So no time spent on family. Woped out savings to pay for it. My fears are when will he do this again. He is acting like its his money not the family's money. Now every time I see him buying things for the car or washing it at the week-end ( never use to wash his other cars) I'm just furious. How can I get over this anger and hurt?

Well, I say as far as the car goes its not worth argueing over, unless you needed a family car, then that is more important. Its how he bought it without your knowledge thats not good. That's not good for a marriage. My wife and I won't buy anything over 50.00 without letting the other know.

My Wife and I are actually having this same prob right now along with others. Well not exactly I wanted a car that she agreed upon and wanted to be the only driver because I like to keep my car in cherry condition she does not she drinks and eats in hers. But I realized that its not worth argueing over because the car will be no good in a few years and she agreed not to drink and eat in it when she drove it.

Marriage is supposed to be all sharing but you have to keep a couple of things that bring out your individuality(like seperate checking accounts or a hobby that you had before you were married) I explained to my wife that driving is something I love to do and feel confident in a certain car one that I picked out.

I do feel that you should always put your family 1st and get what they need. If you have extra money then getting something you want for yourself shouldn't hurt, we all have to have something that's just yours and yours alone.