My H has told me he has decided that I'm the one for him, cuz I know how to put up with his need for attention, and his stubbornness and selfishness..... I hate to be real mean when H has seemed to pick me over the OW, but his reasoning is very fuzzy!!!<P> I tried to give him the Surviving an Affair, when he came to visit our girls yesterday, but he said he would'nt read it.<P> It is a good thing, that H was here, when he was origanally scheduled to help OW move this weekend, but thats not enough to build/repair/restart a marriage....<P> It seems to me that H just wants to come home, but doesn't want to fix any of the things that would make our marriage a healthy marriage and seems to think only I need to make significant changes<P> This sucks!! Please help out with some imput, those of you who are back together after Plan B.....<P>cozy

ALthough I can understand how his choice of reasons to stay with him don't make you feel any better, I want to remind you: One thing at a time. SO what if he says he's staying with you for a silly reason. You can work it out from there.DOn't feel to bad about it.<BR>My H also gave me ( and the ow by the way ) this silly reasons to stay, I didn't like them, but since staying was what I wanted him to do,I took it as a first step into better things. <BR>later on - much later, about 10 months later, we were talking and he tells me that the reason he came up with those reasons was because he didn't want to look like a complete idiot that didn't know what he wanted ( to late for that but I got the idea ). I found it safer to trust their actions than their words for a while.<BR>So don't let his reason for staying get to you. Use it as a chance to make him remember, or want to stay because he really loves you. <BR>Take care<BR>Kat

thanks for your point of view Kat1.... I have thought about the fact that at least this is a step in the right direction, but it still isn't bringing him home....<P>My plan B listed a few things that I needed for him to change, like *Get A Job* and two others that were important to me.... Anyway H still hasn't got a job and has been away since March.....Living at his moms so he can have his life his way without feeling guilty about two women in his life... His excuses are numerous for staying away, and also dumb, like our house (a century old farmhouse) is falling apart.... DUH.... <P>The stupider (<- is that a word?) this gets the more I don't like him any more, and wonder if he ever was a good husband/father..<P>cozy