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Joined: May 2004
Posts: 17
Junior Member
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 17 |
Last Thursday my wife told me that she was leaving and going to her mothers to stay for a while. She said she needed some time to think about our marriage. When she was talking, in her eyes it looked like she wanted to call it quits. Several things she said made me know this. I would like to know what to say to her so that I will not put any pressure on her. I have read the past two days about what is inside the books I ordered thru this web sight but there are no specific ideas or what to say. I have ordered the books from this web site. I know why she is not happy. I was not paying enough attention to her. I know this know. What can I say to her to let her allow me a chance to outwardly show my feelings and love to her? We have a 14 month old. I don’t want to ruin a potentionaly great family.
JB
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Joined: May 2004
Posts: 39
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Member
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 39 |
JBerg,
I discovered 3 months ago my wife was having me served with divorce papers. I had become severly emotionally withdrawn and had not met her emotional needs for several years. I asked her to give me another chance if I would get counseling. She agreed if I would go through with counseling and she could start seeing changes. I made an immediate counseling appointment. I was never a proponent of counseling before but it has made an immense change in my life. Things are still rough between us but I wouldn't have given us a chance at the beginning of March whereas things are starting to look hopeful again.
See if you can talk to your wife about counseling. Let her know you are willing to do this as you value your relationship and will do whatever it takes to make it work.
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Joined: May 2004
Posts: 39
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Member
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 39 |
One other item I thought of that was a source of my problems - meeting your partner's most important emotional needs. I was totally wrong on what emotional needs were most important to my wife. I was putting a lot of effort into things that didn't even mean anything to her. Take a look at the emotional needs sections on this site. I also recommend "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman for understanding what emotional needs are important to each other and how to fullfil them.
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Joined: May 2004
Posts: 6
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 6 |
I hope things have got a bit better for you
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