My wife and I have been married 13 years. There have been some ups and downs but our marriage settled into something that I find unfulfilling. Basically, there is no intimacy and has not been any for years. We have 3 children and while we don't fight constantly, my resentment over our lack of intimacy is always simmering near the surface. I have suggested counseling many times and was rebuffed. My wife says she sees no benefit to going. At this point I am confident there is nobody else in her life. In addition to the lack of intimacy, the other issue is the growing feeling that our relationship has become one of "roommates". My wife treats me more like a man who lives in the house and pays the bills than a husband. She makes decisions about things without discussing it with me. The biggest example that I recently discussed with her involved the purchase of an expensive truck which we had discussed but certainly warranted a phone call to me before it was purchased. She lashes out at me sometimes for no reason. I work and have a significant commute so I am away from home from 5:45 am until 7:15 pm. I try to help at home as much as I can during other times. My mother-in-law lives with us so she helps too but she also confides in me that my wife yells at her and sometimes the children for trivial things. The other day, we discussed an issue with her mother and she said I was not being supportive enough and that perhaps she should find someone more supportive. I told her in that case we should seriously think about separating. I told her my concerns (no yelling) about my status in our home. There was silence .... no real response. I guess I had hoped for some sign of recognition and some feedback that showed an inclination towards reconciliation but nothing happened. Now she wants to start selling items, engagement ring, etc so she can go to school. I guess her silence said it all. Where do I go from here?

Hi mpg...you've found a fantastic place to start rebuilding the love in your marriage. First of all, repost your story in the Emotional Needs forum. There isn't much traffic in this forum, you won't get many responses.

While waiting for responses (or before posting), take some time to really read through the basic concepts of this web site. That will get you off to a good start and help you understand the advice you will receive.

Take care,
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