I mainly lurk here, but am hoping that there are some others out there who are going through a similar situation.. Well, actually I wouldn't wish it on anyone, but it would be nice to see how others have or are handling it.

My soon to be EX-H and I began dating when my daughter was not even 2. We knew each other for 10 years prior to that, and we married about 2 years after we began dating. Anyhow, our marriage is now unraveling and the main reason is that we are just unable to make the "blended family" work. We can't agree on discipline, and what is appropriate/inappropriate behavior, etc. He has also become verbally abusive to me mainly, but has also gotten diarrhea of the mouth with my daughter as well. Oh, it's such a long story.... We have a son that is almost 2 together now and we've been married almost 3 years. There is no "other person", there are many love busters that have happened, but at this point he's already filed for divorce and is happy and complete with that decision. We both love each other so very much, but he thinks that no one in our house will be happy if we continue to live together, which I pretty much agree with, although I think that this is a growing stage for all of us and that things will get better....

He keeps telling me that this is best for right now and that maybe in the future we will be/live together again. We are still intimate with each other, but obviously the dynamics of the relationship have changed. I have not lived in the same house with him for about 2 months. We've gone to counseling, with two different counselors, with no real resolution. We are both stubborn, and really I am pretty unwilling to give in when it comes to the punishment of my child. If I am in total disagreement with how he is punishing her, I will not allow it...period! And no, I don't step in at every moment, just when he is coming down way too hard on her, or when he has cussed at her. I would prefer discipline as opposed to punishment, while he is nearly opposite. This has also led my daughter to try and make him hate her so we will not be married anymore.

I feel like just throwing my hands up and letting things take their course. Actually I have a feeling that no matter what I do....the divorce will be final in less than 2 months now....

Any advice or has anyone been in this type of situation? I know Dr. Harley recommends that if you have tried all other avenues that possible living apart but still married until the children are grown is the option. For some reason though my husband does not feel this is an option, he wants a divorce to finalize things... I know I've probably left out tons of the story, but this is the synapsis.