After waiting all day for H to call. I finally called him a few minutes ago. He seemed really crabby but said that he was on his way with the kids. (He is supposed to decide today whether he wants me or OW.) I said ok and he said that there we needed to talk, there were some things that we needed to get straight and get out in the open. I said ok so he should be here in about 45 minutes. I have this sinking feeling that he has chosen OW and that I will have to go through all the pain again. How do I respond to him? How do I act? What if he has decided that he wants me? I hate this whole thing. I feel like a pawn and it is because I can't stop loving and wanting him no matter how hard try. I just want him to either want me or not and stop going back and forth. How long do I fight? <P>------------------<BR>Rachel :)<BR>

camarinick, just do your best to be calm when he gets there. Being this nervous won't help in any way in regards to his decision and it just might lead you to do or say anything you might not want to do or say.<BR>I know it's esay to talk, difficult to do.But try. Take the time until he gets there to do something that relaxes you, or try any relaxation techniques you might know.<BR>I wish that his decision meets your wishes, and that things can get better from now on. Even if he decides to stay with the ow, for now, that still doesn't really mean anything, keep that in mind. It is very difficult to make a choice when your head is in the clouds, and more times than not, it's the perfect way to make the wrong decision ( later regreted many times over ).<BR>Be calm and strong.<BR>Kat<BR>

No matter what his decision, remember how much God loves you and wants your happiness...even more so your children. If your H chooses you, then I applaud your patience and pray your success. If not, we'll cross the bridge if and when we get to it. I'm here though, if you need someone to talk to.<P>Tracy<P>------------------<BR>"I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me."

So he came over and said he didn't know what to decide. He said that he loves us both and is afraid that things might not change if he comes back to me. He said he needs to think and talk to each of us and his counselor. What do I do now?<P>------------------<BR>Rachel :)<BR>

Camararinick, although it is painfull for you please rememeber that it's normal for him to be confused. My h tells me that he would decided he wanted to stay, feel good when he was with me, and then would be with her, feel good for being with her, and feel that he wanted to stay with her, then be with me again and start the circle all over again. I read in here about more people in the same boat. It's difficult and painfull for them as well - although to be honest had I thought about it them i still couldn't care less, he had created all the pain ( mine and his). <BR>I just looked at your history, it's been a bit over 4 months, it's about the time that things started to look a bit better with me. Just hang in there if you can. Try to show him that yes things can change - my H didn't believe it was possible either, even thought he had no idea what changes he was talking about! -. I however was lucky in the sense that he never actually left, just thought aboutit, and decided to save money for the rent in an apt., but before he saved what he needed, things changed - his mind mostly -.<BR>All in all their affair went for about 4/5 months after discovery ( which by the way is the same time it started- it was discovered when it started ) there was still some contact on an off mainly by phone, but by them he started to have doubts, and seing her for what she was, for a bit after that and things only got really better on the 7th month.SO have hope. <BR>DO you know what changes he is talking about? Can you make those changes? Try to be calm when you talk to him, but at the same time showing that you're there for him.For a while, they can't find any faults in the op, so it gets quite difficult to compete, the good news is, it doesn't last. Pretty soon they get back to their human being status instead of little angel on hearth, and that's when our chances increase.<BR>Take care<BR>Kat