I was involved in a long term EF my H and I are still together and trying to work thru this but I am having difficulty opening up to him. It hurts to discuss the affair with him and I'm not sure on how to begin talking to him about it. He wants to know how things I can't remember how they got started. How they lasted so long and why I did it. Instead I have clammed up and built walls to protect myself from the pain. He is suffering greatly and it saddens me so the pain is so great. I know I need to love him thru this time and openess is a big key. How do I break thru this and love him back to me? Many of my lifes trials lead me down the wrong path and I made stupid & bad choices having this EF. I feel I am the right path but the road is full of pot holes and I don't want to make any more wrong turns. We start christain councelling today, I pray it is not too late for us. He tells me he loves me and I do love him but hes loosing hope. I am at a road block. Any one been here? Any advice?

Welcome to marriagebuilders. It is a good place to be under the circumstances. You can get a better marriage again.

Check out the emotional needs questionnaire and see if you can start meeting each other's emotional needs.

Also you might try posting on general questions as there is much more traffic there.