Since my H affair a lot has changed in our house. Trying to open up on emotional needs we changed the way we have our checking accounts. FWH felt like he paid all the bills with his money in his checking account and I got to blow my money in my checking account. It didn't even matter that he made 4 times as much as I did, and that I made my truck payment, cell phone payment, paid for my own gas, and paid for the farm animals food, I was still suppose to give up 90% of it to him for household bills. We decided that we would put all our money in his checking account and make it our money. We have been meaning to add my name but have not as of yet. Here is the problem
He gives me money maybe 30 dollars every few weeks. I am allowed to charge gas on the credit card. I needed some shirts for work as it gets very cold. I only went to walmart, and I bought only 3 of them under ten dollars. I had to charge it because I have no checking account, and no real money. If I use the cash and ask for more I have to expain where my money went to. If I charge it, I am in big trouble. I feel like and adult who has to ask permission to buy anything. I know that we spend money differently. He only buys clothes at second hand stores for the kids and hits clearence isles. He does all the grocery shopping because he will figure the oz per cost and buys the one that costs less, and runs to 10 different stores after the ads come.
He goes online and checks the credit card bills every few days. He came upstairs and asked if I was charging up the cards again because there were five new charges. I told him 3 were mine, 2 for gas, and one for shirts. He says "well, I have you 30 dollars in cash." I asked him point blank, " and If I spend that cash on the shirts and asked for more money how would you have responded? Would you ask me detailed questions on where my money went to." He didn't answer and left the room.
I am just tired of asking for permission to buy something for feel like I have to expain myself or defend why I bought something new at full price. I work, I earn money, I should be entitled to something. I have tried to expain this to him but he just doesn't understand. He is so smart he had no common sense. Any ideas???
