Hi, I've never done this before but I really need some advice. I have been married for 17 yrs. and we have three beautiful children together. I am 39 and my husband is 36. I found out about 2 and 1/2 months ago that my husband was having an affair. Talk about devastated! I didn't even realize that anything was wrong. We both work full time and between work and the kids I guess it would be pretty hard to see this. He met the other ow while on the job. The company he works for has a contract with a apartment complex in the area and she approached him. When I found out and confronted him with the evidence of course he denied it. But after he could no longer do that he said it was because I was not giving him the attention and affection that he needed. The affair continued so I called the ow and talked to her to find out how long it had been going on, she said she didn't know he was married until a couple of days before I called her. She said it had been going on for about a month. I asked her if she was prepared to give him a place to live and she said if need be she would.I asked her if my husband knew this and she said yes. So I kicked him out. But the next day as soon as I arrived at work he called and asked me to come home to talk. When I got home he told me he was sorry and that he didn't want our marriage to end. He said he loved me more than anything in the world and asked me to please not give up on him. So I gave him a chance only later to find out the affair was still going on. So this time I left. My family lives 6 hrs away from where we do so I packed my things and went to be with them. Of course he came to get me the next day. So this went on a couple of times and every time he came to get me. But the affair had not ended. She instant messaged me telling me that my husband loved her. At this point it has been 2 months since I found out and I was tired of dealing with it so I called him at work and told him to come home and get his stuff and leave. I had already packed it.At this point he told me he didn't have anywhere to go. So 10 minutes later he comes home and I told him it was me or her and 2 hours later after alot of discussion he e-mailed her telling her it was over. It has been 2 weeks of no contact with the ow but the problem is his company is working in the apartment complex where she lives...he says that I have nothing to worry about but I can't get past this. I worry all the time and he is not very supportive right now. He tells me he loves me and we have been sleeping together through all of this. Why is he not able to be supportive of my feelings? is it to soon after he told her it was over? I am not understanding any of this. If anyone has any thoughts they would be greatly appreciated!

Hey Sweets,

You'll get a lot more help and insight if you post this message on General Questions or the Just found out. I am sorry your going through this, but I think that you have a wonderful chance in having a happy healthy marriage. The folks on this board have been through much of the same...read all you can here and familiarize yourself with the Marriage builders principles. Sounds like your Hubby is willing to do what is necessary to make things better. Hang in there Sweets.
ruby

Thank you Ruby. I hope you are right!

Hope you do not mind, I cut and pasted this into your thread over in the just found out forum.