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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 2
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 2 |
I am looking for a little hope or advice from someone who has gone through what I am going through right now. I had an affair with another man and my husband caught me. We are going through a seperation right now and are suppose to get together and talk next week about what the future holds for us. I am terrified that he is going to say that he wants a divorce before he even gives me another chance. I have no idea what to do or how to cope right now. My emotions are all over the place. I know that I am the one that made the mistake and it is a mistake that I never want to make again , I love my husband with all my heart but I am scared that it is over for us because he doesnt want to try anymore.
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Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 2,457
Member
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Member
Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 2,457 |
Hello,
It sounds like you love your husband very much.
Why did you have the affair and what do you expect to happen when you decided on the affair?
Unfortunately the ball is in your husband's court.
Only he can decide whether he wishes to stay with someone who betrayed him and his marriage. I would strongly suggest marriage counseling but really it is up to him. Again what did you expect to happen when you engaged in these actions. Another problem also is that you were caught and did not confess. Your husband probably feels it would still be going on and stopped only because you got caught. Why should he trust you now? Am I wrong?
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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 2
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 2 |
The reasoning for the affair really doesnt matter right now, thankfully it was not a sexually active relationship, I was stuck in a position where that someone was filling the void that my husband was not able to fill with his busy work schedule. I know that this is not an excuse and I am definetly not trying to use it as one.
We did start marriage counseling but since the seperation it has been put on hold and we are going seperately to see the counselor.
Trust is the biggest thing that I am trying to work on with him and that is something that i will have to earn .
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Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 2,457
Member
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Member
Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 2,457 |
Hello again,
The fact that it was not a sexual affair is huge for most men. You are very lucky. I think it is far more likely that he will forgive you. Please insist on marriage counseling. I wish you luck.
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