My husband and I have not been getting along because of my complaining about his drinking beer just about every night, he does chew,and has taking up smoking cigars. He has gradually become distant romanticly because he is so tired. We have been redoing our house since last September due to Hurricane Isabel damage and have both been under stress. I finally just blew my stack with him the night prior to him going on his yearly hunting trip with his boys (hunt club buddies)and got so mad that I told him that I just needed him to talk to me and pay some attention to me and he ignored me and I finally just said that maybe we ought to just get out of this marriage. The worst mistake in my life. I have since then talked to him twice on the phone and both times he was crying his eyes out. I asked him if we could please stay together, that I was angry and was wrong to say what I said. I need to stop fussing at him for every move he makes. I feel that I was doing that just to get his attention, it works but is not effective. I know that I blame myself and he needs to show me he cares as well. I just care so much about him. He is my life. We have been together for 14 years and his answer when asked if we could work it out was, we will take it day by day. If he didnt care I dont think he would have taken the time to call me at all. He would just leave me. I love him so much. I have a great husband and I messed up. Now what do I do to save my marriage?

beaglelv2,

Your husband needs to address his drinking problem before you can really do much of anything else.

First off, you need talk to him with out arguing and when you are talking to him tell him to look at your eyes and tell him that you need his help on this situation. Tell him what’s bothering you, one way mirror will never work at all,

Right now for him he is NOT doing anything wrong he thinks that he is doing fine and for him drinking it’s a stress relief because he is always tired from working. And make sure, you do not get angry with him when you are talking to him, tell him drinking is OK but not getting drunk all the time.

Just be calm, relax, and then if he listen give him a hug and kiss and say thank you for listening. Usually guys love to be hug and kiss like teddy bear and he will try to change.

When you talked to him ask him what is bothering him and make sure you write it on the note pad and just to remind your self follow what he wants.

List everything what he wants and what you want to happen, Write the resolution on everyday re-action if it works continue or Not then try something different step: but remember guys loves to be hug tight and kiss when they get home. TRUST ME.