I had to work on Thanksgiving. And when I got home I found my husband with a hooker in our house and in our bed. He says they did not do anything because she had just gotten there. I was so angry, I packed a bag and got out of there immediately after some screaming. I ended up calling my mom and crying on her shoulder. I finally came back to the house on Sunday and we have been talking like crazy. I wouldn't answer my cell phone while I was away, cuz I couldn't even talk to him without seeing it in my mind.

Well anyways I am sleeping in the guest room and on Tuesday went and looked at a couple of apartments. I just don't think I can go through with that.

my husband has been begging for forgiveness and has stated this has never hapened before and will never happen again. But I can't trust him. Especially now. I didn't think this could happen to us. We have had a good marraige. we have been together for 11 years.

We have no children, but had been trying to for the past two years. So thankfully we don't know that I know this.

I just can't believe he would do something like this. I can't think he would just throw away our lives. I am so hurt by him. I can't even think straight. There are times at work,that I just have to leave my desk, cuz I think I would start to cry right there.

I am so confused on what to do. I am sure my parents want me to move out and would be dissappointed in me if I didn't. There are times I want nothing more than to move out, but then there are other times that I think I don't want to throw it all away.

I wish there was an easy answer. I have no idea what to do. He has said, he would do anything to save our marraige. Well I think he should have thought of that before.

I just don't know. I can't sleep, eat, think or anything. Plus I don't know how to face my family or if we did try to work it out,how they or him could ever face each other again.

Although I have never gone through anything like this - the first thing you need to do is get in for some counselling. You need to move out asap. A hooker my god - and on top of it in your home in your bed. This guy is not worth the time of day - where is the respect for you as his wife let alone the love. Run as quickly as you can - go home to your family for the time being - you need their support. And get to a doctor for STD tests. I doubt that this is the first time he has been with a hooker - he may be saying that - but to be so bold as to bring her home is just to much for you. Please see a doctor immediately - your health is at stake.

God bless - no man is worth this.

Flower - you have not posted anything else. I am worried about you - why haven't you been back? Have you tried posting on infidelty part of this forum - they would have more advise for your. this site is a good spot for you to post and get some answers to your questions.

I have been trying to figure things out. And what I want to do. This is the hardest thing I think I have ever had to do.

I did sign up with an apartment. I will be moving out this weekend. Packing my stuff up isn't that bad. It is trying to figure out the stuff we bought together that is getting to me. I really don't want anything from him, but know I need to separate these things so I can make a new home.

I also went and talked with a divorce lawyer. So that is also going on. After the new year, I will start the proceedings. I just don't want to think about that right now.

I just feel so lost and hope that once this all resolved, that I will feel better and be able to move on. Right now, It just doesnt seem like that will ever happen.

I also don't know how I will be getting through the holidays. For 11 years, we have spent the holidays together. And know that part of me is missing.

I didn't think I was this strong of a person, but I realize now, that if I can get through this, I am stronger than I thought. I never wanted to be a divorcee and have a husband that did that to me. But I guess I am.

Hi Flower,
I'm so sorry to hear about your situation. Please repost this on the JFO (just found out) board. There is much more traffic there, your post will get more responses.

There are several women here with H's with an SA (sexual addiction). It's very hard to recover from, and requires your H's deep commitment to long-term therapy. The choice is yours if you'd like to try to recover your marriage. With no children, I'd have a hard time committing to recovery from that, myself. His problems run VERY deep.

Yes, especially since it's the holidays, please find a IC (Individual Councleor, therapist) ASAP. This is just devestating, I know. Many BS (betrayed spouse) take anti-depressants for a few months after such a discovery. Ask your Dr. if that might be appropriate.

Please get all the support you can from your friends and family. I'm very sorry you are having to go through this. Please take care - Dru

<small>[ December 09, 2004, 12:58 PM: Message edited by: Drucilla ]</small>

I am glad that you are okay (as best as you can be) and that you are taking care of yourself. The others are right you need to hang tight with your family right now and counselling will also help. Keep telling yourself that you are okay and this problem was not caused by you. Your husband is the one with the problem. Things happen for a reason at the time we may not know why but in the future you will find out why.
God bless you and I will say a prayer for you. Have faith in yourself.