Hi ive been married for 18 months and we have been together just over 5 years we
have lived together just over 3 years , I have read alot on how and what I should
have done as I was an alcoholic and did not meet my wife's emotional needs and
neglected her as in independent behaviour and angry outbursts and basiclly abused
her
and I have given up the drink as I realized this was a contributing factor after
she walked out on me after a drunken angry outburst when I told her that I had
kissed someone else over twelve months ago and I have given it a lot of thought on
how I was treating her and she has told me that it seemed I did not want to be
near her I explained that I think it was the guilt that stopped me treating her
the way I should of even though i kissed some in a drunken state it was no excuse
as i had told my wife when we first started seeing each other if she ever kissed
someone else she may aswell sleep with them as i would be out the door so she has
held onto that all the time we have been togther i have been going to a
counsellor to better myself and work on my faults but i do want to save our
marraige as i do love her so much but she has said that she has fallen out of love
with me as her love bank account has run dry but she has said the account is
still there but the bank is closed she had been telling me that she hadn't
been happy for sometime but i thought everything was ok well now i hope i
haven't left it to late to of woken up in which my eyes are very wide open now

i have given her some of the ideas off your sight and asked her if it was
informative to her and she has said yes and i said i'd like to put what
we've learnt into practice to make our relationship blossom how or what would
you suggest for me to do i would really like your advise as i do really want to
save our marrige as she has given up on working on it and i have only just started
unfortunately it has been six weeks since she has left and is surggesting we
should sell the house please help

twirds - I have the unfortune of knowing exactly what you're going thru. My wife and I have been married for 16 months and she finally let loose on me on 12/19. The circumstances were different but she did the same thing your wife did, she left the home. She basically had feelings of resentment towards me and my family and I also am guilty of not meeting her emotional and physical needs.

I am also repentent(sp?) and am hoping that we can talk things over.

Fortunately for you, your wife is willing to take in information that relates to fixing your relationship. It SEEMS like my wife doesn't want to have anything to do with me. I am reading "Relationship Rescue" by Dr. Phil. A very good read and an alternative to standard counseling practice. Although it's answered alot of questions and opened my eyes, I still miss my wife very much. The book focuses on fixing yourself first and eventually re-connecting with your spouse. It's really invigorating, but, again, it can't replace having your spouse there.

So far, my wife's told me that she's "resting". I'm not sure exactly what that means but physically it means, or seems like it, that she's disconnected from me. When we talked yesterday, she said "I love you" back to me and also "I miss you also." I'm hoping that is an indication of a step in the right direction.

Good luck on your situation. You can bet that I'll be keeping an eye on this thread.

<small>[ December 25, 2004, 08:56 AM: Message edited by: Bubba4Bebe ]</small>

Bubba,
Your very lucky that she is still saying that she loves you,
My W has stopped, I do know that she does miss me as she has told me this, but has said she won’t come back out of loneliness, she does not kiss me or hug me as she feels it will only give me the impression that things are alright in which they are not,
So you’ve got that to go by but don’t read into it to much you need to do some work on yourself look at how you can improve yourself for yourself and your relationship
I feel you need to do some reading of the MB website as this offers a lot web page read it is great stuff

UPDATE, A FEW BIG DAYS
I went down to in-laws house and sore W on Christmas morning, and gave her the gifts I brought her some small things and the main present was a necklace with her birth stone, and when she opened it she run into her room crying in which I felt so bad for making her upset, so I followed her to comfort her and apologize for upsetting her once again, she said why now do I give her a gift like this I said cause I wanted to give you something as beautiful as you are [straight away] she said why couldn’t you have said that sometime ago, [ I THEN RELIZED THAT I HADN'T SAID IT FOR QUITE SOMETIME F### ] Without me getting a word out she said this is the first time I have cried [ I don’t believe it ] I said I wasn’t meaning to upset you, it’s the last thing I wanted to do I was rubbing her back and said that I’m sorry I hadn’t been there for you when you needed me to be but I am now and always will be,
I asked if she could please wear it [as I had a feeling that she wouldn’t ] I think I was wrong in asking her to wear it WAS I ???
Any way I was still comforting her and she asked me to stop, so I did I told her I love her so much and I wish I could make it up to you and is there anyway I can in which she replied I don’t think you can [BUGGER] I will keep trying i have to w means to much </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">IF ONLY WE COULD TURN BACK TIME!!!!