I have heard many things about the statistics and such for children who have been through a separation/divorse....<P> I will dig out what I can find and would like everyone else to dig... I have been talking to a young W who is filing divorse papers and doesn't see any reason to TRY... thinks the kids are better off not living in a house without love....

Help!!! noone responded....<P>This young gal is ending a marriage and believing it will be better for all involved including the children... I'm going to see her again this week and wanted the statistics for % of kids that divorse when they come from divorsed parents... % of girls who become pregnant as teens because of no father at home.... <P> I know this information is out there somewhere, now I need you guys to help me find it.... I need her to know that just because the love is gone and she screwed up by having an affair its NOT the end... Her H says he would still try, now I have to find something that would convince her!<P>cozy

This page has some information, and also mentions Gallagher's book, The Abolition of Marriage, where there are apparently a lot of statistics.<BR> <A HREF="http://www.divorcereform.org/psy.html#anchor1035445" TARGET=_blank>http://www.divorcereform.org/psy.html#anchor1035445</A> <p>[This message has been edited by Nellie1 (edited August 31, 1999).]

I don't have statistics either; but I do have first hand experience. Remember, that all cases aren't the same. I divorced my husband 9 years ago (infidelity on HIS part and drinking problem) and remained single for 2 years. I raised our then 3 and 7 year old boys by myself and an lot of help from my family, sisters, uncles, parents. Everyone did their part to make sure the kids felt loved, wanted, and part of a "family". I remarried 7 years ago. We still live within 2 miles of their real dad who they see almost daily - and both of my children have maintained straight A's in school, honor students, very active in sports, very responsible and polite children (now 15 and 12). It CAN be done - when it has to be done; and it can be successful. My ex and I are good friends and my husband and he get along as well making our children very comfortable with the entire relationship. They have never faltered in the "wrong direction" due to divorce. I think its the people and parenting involved and not just the "statistics". <BR>I have to agree with you that if her marriage is repairable and her husband wants to work on the marriage, its worth a good try. I think raising children with their natural parents is the best way ... but not the only way. All circumstances needs to be evaluated. Her affair can be blinding her feelings for her husband and probably noone or nothing can change her mind now but her own mistakes and experience.

Then again - of 5 immediate relatives whose mother divorced - one seems ok, one is still single (apparently not by choice), one divorced, one getting divorced and pregnant, and one was murdered. My H is already cutting back on visitation, and makes it very obvious that his relationship with the kids is secondary to his relationship with the OW. He chose to leave just as our only son was about to enter adolescence - I can't think of a worse possible time.