I don't know what kind of help I can get here or really if there is any, so here goes my story.

I am married to a man that makes me really happy and my four children love him like a daddy. He has three children and two of them live with us. A daughter 13 and a son 9. The daughter is writing notes about having oral sex in a room at our church, taking my daughters pills and his son hits on my children a lot. His children don't have to follow the same rules, although at one time they did.
They went to their mothers at christmas and it was a peaceful time in our household. I didn't have to worry about the safety of my children and there wasn't many problems while they were gone. All the children to age appropriate things and mine get in trouble for what they do and his don't.
His daughter has been grounded for notes, only for the content. This time nothing has happened, she was suppose to be grounded when she came home because of other notes and that didn't happen. His son gets sent to his room to play video games and then gets off before even 5 mins.
Do I love my husband??? Yes very much, I was reminded of how much when it was the six of us. I saw how he was with my children and me. The was a real warmth in the home. Now every afternoon when they get home from school I disappear to the bathroom to cool off.
I have asked him if it were his kids getting treated this way what would he do or how would he feel? Doesn't really have any answers, just that he wouldn't like it. If these were kids in the area my children wouldn't play with them for the lack of supervision and disipline in their lives. They have no consideration for anyone.
I have tried doing what I could but that isn't good enough. I raised my chilren the way I was raised. My brother and I have turned out pretty good. We have made our mistakes but if I had been 13 and wrote notes like she is writing I would have been in a lot of trouble!!! I worry about my children! I would never ask a person to choose, so I guess that is why I am here because I need to figure this out.
I want to make the right decission here and don't know if I will. My children love him with all their hearts and due to similar problems I almost left in the past and it tore my children apart. I know that all things can be fixed but is this fixable? Do I ignore it and nag when things happen? Help any advice welcome!!!

It sounds to me like he is having issues with his own children. Maybe denial that his kids really are that bad? My husband is kind of the same way with his first daughter. I think he's afraid to realize how bad she's gotten. I can't even imagine what my husband would do if he found out our daughter was having oral sex. I'd probably have to bail him out of jail. Would he be willing to go to counseling with his children? Good Luck

We started counsling and I thought it was going to all be ok. I am not sure now. If we didn't have the issues with the children things would be fine between him and I. It it breaking my heart that all of this is happening.

Today we argued or I got upset because his son came in the room and said I put up a sign that said for my four kids to stay out of his room. Something happened between him and my youngest daughter and he got mad. But the Father doesn't think that his son had anything to do with it and if he did he said he would get over it. So it is ok to treat people poorly and then just get over it. Not the way I was raised. You didn't do things to purposely hurt people.

I just don't know. I am hurt and very confussed. Sometimes I am sure he is going to leave because our parenting skills are like from East to West. Sometimes I think he gets really tired of it and I get really tired of it as well. I just don't want to throw away one thing because something else isn't all that great.