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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 1
Junior Member
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 1 |
I am deployed overseas. My wife is living in a small town in Michigan with her parents while I am gone. She has meet this married couple who she found out has an open marriage after becoming friends with them. The husband asked my wife if we had an open marriage and she replied no. He then asked to have sex and he would help her hind it from me. I have asked my wife to not see these people anymore and she cannot agree to it. She will not allow me to talk to them either. I feel she may not be telling me the whole truth. She has said nothing happend but conversation but I just don't know. Am I wrong to ask her to end her only "Frienship" instead of trying to salvage it. Please help.....Im lost
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Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 1,568
Member
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Member
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 1,568 |
You are in a sticky wicket. In the absence/loneliness, EA's and PA's are certainly strong possibilities.
Yes your wife should end it, and stop seeing them at all. (See the Q&A section on affairs). It will do near-irreperable damage to your relationship.
As to how you make her stop? I have no idea. Her unwillingness to stop makes me suspicious. On the other hand, she must've told you about what the guy said, otherwise, how would you know? So a ray of hope...
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Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 7
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 7 |
I don't think I could be friends with someone who asked me to cheat on my spouse. I'm sure she is very lonely, but that is just too much. I don't have any advice, just prayers. Good Luck.
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 9
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 9 |
I'm sorry to hear this. Since your wife has refused to stop seeing the "friends", she clearly has a weak will, poor judgement, or all of the above.
You must ask yourself, can you trust her with other areas of marriage, like finances? I think you are right to be concerned, that does not mean the marriage should end. She knew when she married you that you could be gone for many months at a time, and she accepted the responsibility. Now what has she done with that responsibility? Has she met the challenge and has she been strong and made the right decisions? Or has she failed this test?
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 9
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 9 |
I got it! I think you should encourage her and say/email: "I'm glad you made the right decision not to see any men while I'm away. I'm glad you think marriage is as important as I do."
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 9
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 9 |
Another idea:
"I'm glad you would never do something like that to hurt me so deeply and destroy our marriage."
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