i can't seem to get anywhere with him, we fight all the time about almost everything...I have been feeling ugly, useless...empty...i tell him this and he tells me that i am just being dramatic. He has panic attacks that are triggered by pretty women...just gets very nervous...I can tell that he is nervous and the fights start...I am older-over wieght...and do not look like the "pretty's"...it makes me feel so inadequate. I told him not to touch me, with a "pretty" on his mind...now he rarely touches me at all...other than a few hugs now and then unless i really fuss...
If he see's me naked, he gets nervous afraid that he might judge me...i tell him that is very shallow...he says it is not meant to be...
I am running out of patience and interest in my marriage...I have tried until i can't try anymore and almost do not want to! I love my husband and i took my vows very seriously...but it has to change...it just has to!!! I feel alone, i feel like there is no happy or calm if we are talking it is all very serious...I feel so fat and ugly and just blah...he has now become my verbal sparing partner...please help...
I am so lost...

I think you need to step back and review some of the basic material on this site. (THe concepts link up at the top). *Read* the material. It's good stuff. It will help you learn how to communicate instead of fight. It will help you talk about stuff w/o breeding resentment and frustration.

Then *Read* the stuff in the Q&A link up at the top. Dr. Harley has tons of good stuff in there. Even if the topic doesn't *directly* apply to your situation, it still will help you in the "theory".

Keep in mind: Healing a marriage is work. It takes time. It took time to break, it will take time to heal. It may take longer to heal than it took to break.

...thank you...i am going to start reading now...