Hey all. I need some help been married for about 8.5 years and all that time I have been horrible to my wife. Through the early years she had stuff to work through too and I have to say she is a trooper. It has finally come to a head after so long of just abusing her with my lies that I really think she wants out in a bad way.

Problem is that after all this time I have woken up and I can "finally" see what it is I stand to lose. Not that all along I had no regard for her but I guess I didnt realize until now that she is such an important part of who I am and I really like what we can be together and I desperately don't want to lose that.

She is struggling with believing me and I don't blame her I just pray everyday I get the chance to show her that I understand now (finally) and that I love her dearly.

Not sure if this will help or if even you guys arn't not going to say "you are getting what you deserve" but I have to try I can't just sit and do nothing.

Please someone help.

Well, it's good to see you taking that first step, and there is a ton of good info on this start.

Start at the top, in the "Concepts" section. Read everything there. 2x.

Then head over a link to the Q&A section, and read just about everything there. It's not that all the articles will apply directly, but it will give you a good "immersion" in the MB way of thinking.

You may suggest that your wife look at the Concept material as well, but don't push it.

Then practice the stuff in Concetps. Avoid the LB's and DJ's and AO's and all that stuff.

It would probably be wise to look into MC as well.

Relationships take time to break, they take time to heal. There isn't an overnight fix here, but there is material that will help you build a relationship based on a firm foundation.