What your H is engaging in could be classified as "Verbal Abuse". Yes, the dreaded A word.
There are some things you can do.
First off, get a book by Patricia Evans titled "The verbally abusive relationship, how to recognize and respond".
Read it. Absorb it. Allow it to become your beacon.
You will find it very difficult to make any improvements in your relationship while this is continuing, as it will drive a wedge between you (as you're already noticing).
IN addition, I encourage you to read teh "Concepts" link, up at the top, which describes something called "Basic Concepts", which are the funadamental principles by which MB works.
Then, in the Q&A section up top, read a bunch of Dr. H's descriptions of how to use BC in real-world situations.
Many women are in exactly your position. You can't change your H, you can only change yourself. The includes developing enough self-confidence to remove yourself from volatile situations, and other things.
You need to make sure you don't engage in LB activity, which will only serve to fuel your H's anger. (And he has the obligation to do so as well, but he has to want to change, you can't make him).
Start with that, and then let us know if you have more questions. The material in the book, and the material on this site is life-changing stuff. But you ahve to read it, and you have to apply it.
And that can take a lot of courage and support. This is the place to gain both.
I think that oughta get you started, and then there is more advanced stuff to move on to once you get a handle on the verbal abuse issue, and the lack of respect it demonstrates for you as a person.
