I recently found out some email communication between my husband and a work colleague that are very suggestive. The context of the emails suggest that there could have been a relationship between my husband and this lady. He says there was nothing but it is hard for me to believe this.


I do want to believe him (that there was nothing going on between the two), but the evidence from the emails suggest otherwise. I need someone to look at these emails objectively and tell me what they think….


Thanks for your help.


Tsisti

As you probably know, affairs are extremely common between co-workers. Your husband's denial means nothing unfortunately, because most people lie quite convincingly when confronted.
It's possible that he could be innocent, but I encourage you to believe what you saw with your own eyes.
Type the emails here and you will get opinions from people.
In the meantime, read the stuff on this site. It is really good for making your marriage stronger, whether there is an ifidelity problem or not.

Be careful posting them , since they are private communication... Perhaps exceprts or something would be a bit safer.

Of you could email them privately, I would just be cautious throwing them up on a world-wide forum...

But it's your call.

But the other thing is, does it pass the smell test? And are you normally suspicious of your H? Or does this specific incident raise some flags?

Jaye Mathisen, and realitychkd chick,

Thanks for your valuable comments. I have posted the emails in question on the Infidelity forum- Just found out- under heading “ found emails that suggest an affair” Thanks for your feedback on these emails.

Of course I have changed names and addresses that might identify the people in question.

You are most welcome to offer your advice privately via email.

Cheers,

Tsitsi

Jaye,

I am usually the kind of person who keeps her eyes open and who does not believe in blind trust.

When were in the previous State, I would look for some evidence and did not find any and after we had moved I let my guard down because at that point I believed my husband is worth trusting after all. I did let my guard down for a year until recently when I discovered these emails.

I was surprised at first and could not believe it especially with this woman. Her appearance was not a treat at all and I had not been watching her closely. But reading about emotional affairs, I have learnt that it’s the people that you least expect that your H may be having an EA with.

Or would it be that the time I was snooping around he was being more careful and the time I let my guard down he become careless and let the cat out of the bag?

Tsitsi

Let's be honest,you do not actually need to know that others think of the "emails" after all we do not know you or your husband, but YOU DO, you know how your husband talks, behaves and what is normal or not for him. I know all too well from experience the devistation affairs have and what a horrible thing it is to go through finding out or thinking your husband is messing around. Your gut instincts are a good indication. Has your husband lied about realtionships with women in the past, do you have access to his email account and password, what about cell phone and phone records, is he secretive, does he make excuses to leave the house, the list goes on and on, but like I said you know your husband better than any of us out here, if you think there's something going on you did the right thing by confronting him,now keep your eyes and ears open,do not be nieve and sit idly by and be taken advantage of, if there are children involved you need to begin to get your affairs in order as to finances, home equity amount, any retirement that is available, bank accounts, ect., that is if you would leave him if he is in fact having an affair. If you want to save your marriage I hope he tells you the truth whatever that may be and you can get counseling. If his email contact with female co workers bothers you and causes you concern if there is nothing to it then he should be willing to cease all contact even if he deems it as "innocent". Good luck to you and your family. I know nothing is more heart wrenching than loving a man and realizing he is not on the same page,that he is carrying on with someone else. I pray for your healing and devine wisdom as to how you should proceed with the information you have obtained.

Misty,

Thanks for your message.

My gut feeling tells me there might have been an affair. My H says there was nothing and the emails were read out of context.

I know my husband, he is a good writer and I wonder why he would write such emails that could be easily misinterpreted. If it were one statement then I would have agreed with him to say was an error in sentence construction. But I came across these sentiments over and over again in several emails. Did you get a chance to read these emails?? I posted them under Infidelity; Just found out, under topic “Topic: FOUND EMAILS THAT SUGGEST MY HUSBAND HAD AN AFFAIR”

What hurts me more is that since this happened we agreed to be honest with each other, and I would hurt more to realise later on that this was indeed was an affair and he been dishonest with me by not telling me the truth.


Please indeed PRAY for my healing and divine wisdom, and INTERVENTION as to how I should proceed with the information you have obtained.

Cheers