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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 69
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 69 |
I believe my H wants to come home, but I am having a hard time forgetting the fact that he up and left me in November. I am slowly working towards it, but the constant "Why...?" keeps coming to mind.
Can someone help me?
Nomoregames
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Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 1,568
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Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 1,568 |
I don't think there's a "magic potion" that will make the pain go away.
And in some ways it's good, because it's going to keep you cautious in your approach, and in how close you allow him to get, and that can protect you.
Generally speaking... Time ....
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 69
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 69 |
Thank you so much, Jaye. I just need to keep praying on it and hope my H and I can get through this hard time without further damage.
I appreciate your response. I have read books and scriptures on forgiving and forgetting but you are so right, time is the only thing that can make it less hurtful.
Nomoregames
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Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 1,568
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Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 1,568 |
One thing that may help is having some *clearly* defined boundaries (respectful ones, but boundaries nonetheless) that outline the conditions on return. This may be a golden opportunity to address some other issues in the relationship while minds are clear, and there is a sense of objectivity, without the cloud of marital pain hanging overhead.
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 69
Member
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Member
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 69 |
Thank you again. One thing I mentioned last Monday was that I didn't ever want to be placed in that position again. I felt like I was discarded and left to die on the side of the road, the way he left me.
I realized that I didn't have a lot of boundaries for him, but he had plenty for me when we dated. I just assumed that he would know the right thing to do. But I made a big mistake there.
I am still working on my boundaries and what makes me satisfied. As they come up I make sure he is told.
Thanks again...I believe time will heal my open wounds, its just painful waiting for it to happen.
Nomoregames
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