I also posted on Emotional Needs and thought I would try here also.

I am engaged to a man 11 years older than I am. He has 2 daughters 8 and 10 and I have a 3 year old son. We are having some problems because of the relationship the oldest ddaughter and I have. Needless to say, she is a child who throws a fit if she doesnt get her way and will throw it until he eventually gives in. Very manuipulative. His ex-wife points that out to him and so do I. She lies and tries to blame things that she does on me. She also talk down to me. He sees that she does that sometimes but other times he says she isnt. He will spank my 3 y o for tellin me no but its ok for his kids to talk back and give me dirty looks. The daughter and I have gotten along pretty well lately until the other night when I told her she couldnt do something and he said I was being mean to her. When the sitauation is for once she didnt get her way. So im the bad person. We have put our marriage off because of this. I feel like im being punished because his daughter has a problem with respect and dicipline. Does anyone have any suggestions on what I can do to fix this problem. Thanks.

Seems this is only going to get worse as the kids grow older.

Putting off things may not be a bad idea.

You both need to first decide how to manage this situation togather first and how your going to dicipline the kids first and be firm about it.

seems the kids are now in control...

Nick