I have been married twenty years. In that time there have been several times I had to deal with inappropriatness on my husbands part. Things like hanging up the phone when I entered a room, I fell asleep at a friends house among other things. The topper was when I found condoms in his gym bag. We don't need to practice birth control! Ever since then I cannot trust him. He says someone else put them in his bag as a joke. I don't believe him. I don't have any desire to be intimate with him. Communication has always been a trouble spot. I really think it's too late to fix things.

Ruth,<p> Sad to say, you are probably right, but in the event you want to fight for your husband....Might I suggest re thinking your feelings about being intimate with your husband. We all know that men hit this time we like to call, Middle age....Well the fact is he is probably doing everthing you expect him to be doing..I would confront him on it and ask for answers....The main problem here is...Have you put up with it for twenty years and if so WHY...he is obviously a product of what he has been allowed to do for many years. I feel for you and can only tell you like is short, and you need to be happy even if it means it is all over for the marriage..But again you have to make that choice and live with it. The sad thing here is you are far from being alone on this issue and it is a shame that men have this drive that we cant seem to control. i am sure he loves you and you love him, just maybe this is a lust thing and it makes him feel younger..Who knows but you need to confront him and ask HIM the questions you want...Lies will flow like water but you will tell....You have 20 years experience.