My W and I have been separated now for 3 months. About 3 weeks ago she filed for a divorce. Probably out of desperation I made a deal with her that if she would attend counseling with me for 2 to 3 months and nothing changes I will have to concede to the divorce and move on with my life.<P>Since then we have attended 2 sessions. Both have been very productive in that we both are begining to understand what has happened to us. I have some faults and so does she however our major problem was a lack of communication between the 2 of us. She obviously had some doubts for a while but never expressed them to me in a way that I would hear it. She realizes that but still does not think the marriage will work. She stated in our last session that she could see things between us get better for a while but they will still end up the same eventually and a divorce would happen somewhere down the road anyway. My counsler tells me that I need to show her that I can make the changes that she so desires yet that still might not have enough bearing on having her return to me.<P>How do I show her that I can be the husband she wants? I would love to just spend a day together like it was our first date but I think that would be pushing. I just want to show her that I can be the person she wants. That I am the person she needs to be with. I get the impression from our counseling that she doesn't want our relationship to end but feels she has no other option because her feelings will not change. How do I show her that I can make the changes she needs. I have done them yet they are unnoticed. If I could only get together with her. I really feel like asking for a date to just talk about anything but our current problem. Is this a good idea or is this pushing? I really haven't pushed her since our separation. I really think my options are limited. <BR>

edited<p>[This message has been edited by HollyAnn (edited July 07, 1999).]

At least you are talking this is the first step. You need to show her that you love her for who is she. Isn't it better to be happy than right. When you set yourself up to talk about your problems you are not giving yourself or your wife time to look forward but look at the bad things. A date would be the best answer. try to remember what you did the first time you met and build on that. There is something that that attracted her to you and you to her to make the move to marriage. Your love for her is still there and what you need to do is build up trust between both of you. Good luck with everything. You might have to also give her some room also to allow her to miss you a bit.