I'm going to post this under two categories...<BR>Just had to let folks know how intense and successful our Retrovaille weekend was. Please don't let the fact that it's associated with the Catholic Church keep you away. Religion is a small part of the weekend. If you're of another Christian sect, the religious stuff transfers easily. But even if you're Jewish or Buddhist or agnostic, go and just ignore the religious stuff. I can just about guarantee that this weekend will change you and your relationship. I found out about it here on the WEB, and was reassured by you good folks that it was worthwhile. Thank you. My husband and I renewed our love for each other, and we have a game plan to keep working on the troubles in our marriage. The most profound experience for me was listening to the "presenting couples" who bare their souls and very personal experiences and feelings. We, the attendees, are NOT expected to share anything personal. We listen as a group to the presenting couples and a priest (at least in this case, a very cool guy), and then each couple goes off in private to practice what we learned. It's all about communication, forgiveness, healing, trust, being open and honest. All of that is nothing new to us here on this WEB page, but the intensity of the weekend schedule and the intensity of the couples' presentations really drive it home. One couple went into excruciating detail about the deterioration of their marriage, including his two affairs--one with her best friend. This woman inspired me to forgive my H, and the man inspired my husband to apologize from the bottom of his heart, and to work harder to save our family. We now have six follow-up sessions ahead of us--about 6 hours each on Saturdays. My marriage isn't totally recovered, and this all ain't easy, folks--but I'm more hopeful now than I've been for years, and so is my husband.

Mary-<P>Just wanted to say thanks for the reply. It was encouraging to find you under "Retrouvaille is Great!" I'm (we're)ten days out from ours. I hope to be able to follow your advice in the meantime, just staying positive. I imagine (hope) that a program that can help people who have had two affairs become presenters must be pretty effective. I just can't imagine that, but if it worked for them then it's very encouraging. I'll watch for you here. Thanks again. <P>P.S. Just to add some levity- I'd really like to talk to anyone who can correctly guess who the original Harlequin is- the clue is in the book DB....

Mary-<P>Looks like this is where you hang out the most- if I see it right, you started the topic over here. Anyway, I definitely have age and culture differences (what you posted in Other Sites to John)- I just can't promise you how much I can write. I think you remember that my W is from South America- I'll try to keep an eye out for you and write if I can come up with anything that's solid. Meanwhile- all I have is empathy and the same advice you gave me over in Other Topics- hang in there, take care of yourself, hope for the best. I'll think this over the best I can and pass along any ideas or insights I might stumble over.<P>h.