Just a quick background. My wife has recently gone back to the Catholic Church. I am a Bible believing Christian, sole fide, sola gratia. (Scripture alone, grace alone) We have spent the last two years trying to convert the other with endless apologetical arguments resulting in a seperation and DV counseling for anger management. We are on the road to reconciliation and are both in counseling for our stuff, thank God! I have had to let go of a great deal of issues and prayerfully and faithfully rely on God's soveriegnty to hold us together. We recognize that God has to be the glue to hold our marriage together, but we also recognize that such words as "grace" and "works" and "authority" and "church" do not mean the same thing to eachother or the different faiths. We cannot read scripture together because we cannot agree on translations or even share our faiths without presupposing that 1)we are still trying to convert the other, 2) one of us is misinterpreting scripture or has been conditioned to false teaching. Each faith does indeed have a different interpretation and it is not merely semantics. We love eachother very very much and don't ever want to go through sepration or worse divorce as our past journey led us. We also recognize that God has had a hand in our life and our reconciliation and given us a chance at a new beginning. We also have 2 children and are struggling on what to teach them. We want to be together and grow together spiritually but we are at an impasse. How can we work through this? Can there be a middle ground without compromising our faith? How do I do that and maintain my beliefs and set the spiritual tone for my family, as I believe is my role as head of the house, if we can't even agree on which Bible is the more accurate translation? Let me clarify, I have read that the most accurate translation of the original Scriptural texts is the King James. She would argue against that according to the Catholic Church. (Mine is King James, her's the New Jerusalem) If I am wrong I would appreciate some insight. I love her, but also don't want to compromise my faith. I would really appreciate some input or suggested reading. One final thought. We are on the other side of seperation and our marriage is on the way to healing. I have truly let go of what I believe is selfish pride in trying to will my beliefs on her. God has been changing my heart tremendously as I have let go of many things as far as her faith is concerned. I accept that she is Catholic, I may not agree with the teaching, but I know that in her heart she does have a relationship with Jesus. I don't want to try to convert her anymore. That is between her and God. We just get into a gray zone with what do we teach our kids. I also want to just share our lives together more implicitly, of the same mind and same spirit. Any suggestions froim someone else that may have had a similar experience? Thank you!<BR><p>[This message has been edited by GAS (edited July 30, 1999).]

GAS:<P>Approach this as any other marital problem.<P>1. Eliminate the lovebusters. Rigidity in thought is usually gets expressed as disrespectful judgements, selfish demands, and angry outbursts. You must eliminate these behaviors. It has nothing to do with eliminating your beliefs, but it does have plenty to do with how you discuss your beliefs with each either. <P>Until you can eliminate lovebusters towards each other, you should probably not work in sensitive areas, and that would appear to include discussing your faith.<P>The other issue is how to deal with responsibilities and issues that you don't agree on. Buy the book "Give and Take"; there's a very thorough discussion on the Rule of Complete Honesty, the Policy of Joint Agreement, and how to make negotiations safe and pleasant. I suggest that you learn to integrate your faith(s) for your children's sake using the policy of joint agreement. <P>It appears a lot of your issues are "semantics". Arguing about which bible translation is "more accurate"???? If you can't read the original texts in the original language (and I'm betting that neither you or your wife can), then you're hardly in a position to know this as the truth. Then all you have is your opinions---and if you force these disrespectfully on each other, you'll fail the marriage miserably. Instead of lecturing to each other, learn from each other. <P>Here's an exercise: have your wife list 10 good things about the KJ bible, and you list 10 good things about the NJ bible. Share them with each other respectfully.