I would like some insight from others about the following:<P>Does anyone experience what I experience:<P>If my husband or mother or someone close to me does something I'm not happy with e.g<BR>Leave a dirty fork in the drainer which has not been clean properly. I will not mention it at the time but later when they are telling me about what I've done wrong, I will bring it up just so I can feel that I'm not the only one who is not perfect. <P>Further if someone does something to me at the time I don't have the courage to speak up so later when I feel things have cooled down, I will say why did you do xyz to me. The usual response from my husband is "I don't want to talk about it, its done now, leave it be." This makes me very angry, I want them to feel bad, like I do. People close to me tell me I dwell on things too much. Maybe I do maybe I don't but I wish someone could tell me where you store all your anger or get rid of it. Similary when my spouse calls me names when he disagrees with me, I get so mad and feel so hurt. He is able to return to normal and I still feel angry. I've tried telling him these names hurt. <P>He also calls me names like Fatty pass me the salt, bubbly can you get me a drink, and the latest, Rocky (this is because he says I have a nose like a boxer). I disagree with this. <P>Sorry guys if I am going on a bit but I do need to vent. I'm not sure if the above makes sense. I guess I findout if anyone replies.<P>Thanks for always being here when times and things get tough.<BR>Theressa

Calling your spouse names is disrespectful and hurtful. To tell you the truth, I'd fall over with shock if my husband ever called me a name. It's a lot to do with maturity too. I don't really know what to tell you because I don't know your husband but I do know that I would never allow anybody to talk to me that way.

Theressa!!!!<P>Is this the same woman who has given me such great advice and coaching? Don't let these people get to you. I keep thinking about those negative events--my W dwells on things way too much and just can't let go, period!! Don't close the doors on yourself and become your own victim. When things happen to me I try to "step out" and look at myself and my situation as if I am looking at a picture to see what can improve or who can improve. I hate it when my W calls me names or says things to hurt me.....I think I best deal with it by taking your advice. I stay calm and remove myself from her until she can respect me in the way I need. I keep you in mind everytime I have a conflict with my W cause you have always given me such great advice! Use it on yourself and you'll probably be fine. I'm praying for you!!

Tx,<P>Thanks so much, I needed to hear that. I <BR>find that sometimes it so hard to take your<BR>own advice. To have you and the rest of my<BR>friends on this site is great support. I just know that eventually I will be able to <BR>sort things out. I am feeling a little down<BR>at the moment and friends like the ones I have on this site are great support. I am <BR>still trying to buy the house I've been buying with my husband for three months. At <BR>work I've been getting alot of hassle. Life<BR>is just but a dream at present. I going to <BR>practice being assertive and sort this all out but I guess I needed some support.<P>I also think of you all when things are getting tough and I feel a sense of strength.<P>Thanks so much, I am here if you ever need any support. <P>Theressa