Thank you Carol G for your responses to the situation between my wife and I. (She is Catholic and I am non-denominational) It has been a real struggle for me. I have many things going against me, 1) I am a perfectionist, 2) I am very head oriented, (faith is not a feeling) 3)I was raised and firmly believe that no one can add to God's word (as I believe the RCC has). My wife and I spent a great deal of time with this very issue before we got married as we both knew it would cause the kind of problems we are now experiencing in our marriage. Don't get me wrong, we both love each other very much and both sincerely feel that God has brought us to where we are. We don't know how it will turn out but trust that He will see us through. It is just that doctrine is so very close to our hearts it has been very hard for us to negotiate through this. Yes, control is an issue. We both suffer from the scars of controlling parents and that carries over a great deal into how we see each other. We are both in counseling right now and that is going well. I am just struggling with the lack of compromise and am not really quite sure how to express my feelings without it seeming like I am prejudiced and controlling. I don't want to try to convert her because her heart is between her and God. I travel for work and cannot be around all the time to share my faith with my family and what suffers is that they are getting a very one sided-view of faith in God. She doesn't see anything wrong with that either. She has shrouded our home with religious icons, (crucifixes, holy water basin, statues of the Virgin Mary, etc.,.) My kids are learning Catholic tradition daily. I feel pretty helpless right now with this one issue. I find much of this offensive because of my faith and when I try to express how I feel she responds by telling me that I am being prejudiced or trying to put her in a box. I have gotten advice from people such as yourself to lighten up and let God work through this, but what exactly does that mean? I don't do anything now and she seems to grow deeper and deeper in her faith and taking the kids along with her with little regard to my feelings (I don't think she can fully understand my feelings). What is the fine line? I don't want to bury my head in the sand but I also don't want to "take control" of the situation either. All I can do is pray. I would like to comment regarding posting things on this web site. It is apparent to me, due to some of the responses I have recieved that one cannot accurately convey a conflict without giving the wrong impression or distorted perception. I love my wife very much, she is a wonderful mother and wife despite this one issue. We are happily married even though this trial has been tough and lengthy. She is not as controlling or willful as this posting may have sounded. Nevertheless, she over the past 2 years has become 100% Catholic so much so that reasoning with her to compromise or express how I feel has been a very difficult struggle for me. Again, I don't want to control her or try to convert her, I would however like to share with her and come to a meeting place where we can focus on our simililarities and then teach our children. But the faiths are so doctrinally different. I would really appreciate a push start from anyone with a similar experience. Thank you.
