My wife and I have been married for about two months and lived together for a year before our marriage. She is a wonderful woman and I believe that I am a good husband. The problem comes with laundry (of all things!). We live in an apartment building and for the past three-plus months, I have been the only one to drag the stuff down there. Don't get me wrong -- my wife does many, many things and doesn't have a problem pitching in with our dishes, general cleaning, etc., but when it comes to laundry, she just doesn't want a part of it. What's more is that our work schedules are very different and, as a result, I don't have much time at home (especially weekdays) since I work from about 8:30 until 7:30 then pick her up from her evening job (4:30-8:30) and we get home about together around 9. That leaves precious little time for relaxing, let-alone doing laundry, before it's time for bed in prep. for the next day. What I usually end up doing about every week and a half or so is taking off early from work, running home to do laundry, and then going to pick her up after her work. That's not very convenient, but I certainly wouldn't complain about doing it occationally if we were sharing the laundry duty. What do you all think? Am I making something out of nothing? Should I just accept that she doesn't want to do it and continue rushing around to get it done myself? Or should it be a shared responsiblity -- something that we could alternate every two weeks or so? <P>------------------<BR>sasnak

sasnak:<P>Read about the Rule of Complete Honesty, and the Policy of Joint Agreement. And then, try to negotiate a "win-win" situation with your wife. Explain your side to her (no lovebusters). Ask for her opinion (or her side). Ask her for her help in solving the problem. Brainstorm lots of different solutions, and try to pick on that appeals to both of you.<P>For example... Buying a washer/dryer for your apartment. Moving to an apartment that has one. Changing jobs so that you do have more time together (this could be more of a problem for you---you should address it). Going out together to a laundrymat and having dinner inbetween spin-cycles...<P>You should be honest with her. And you should both work together in a way that not only solves the problem, but builds love for each other.<p>[This message has been edited by K (edited December 03, 1999).]

Hi Sasnak!<BR>Yeah, I wholeheartedly agree with K. The most important thing is your marriage. You have to find a solution that both of you agree with.<BR>In my home, since I stay there with my kids, I do most of the housework; cooking, cleaning, etc. But there are a couple things that I hate to do, that my H doesn't mind doing, so he does them. If both of you spend equal amounts of time working, then it's fair that you divide the household chores in half, although if you don't have kids, my first option would be to do everything together. Just make sure both of you keep in mind that sticking together in everything is most important. If you doing the laundry by yourself cut's down on time that you can spend together, there has to be another option.<BR>Good luck!