My husband of 30 years announced last week that he filed for divorce. The details are on the "resolving conflict" site. I pray that someone will answer this question?<P>Since we separated last week, I have not spoken with my husband because I fear that I will get angry and say something stupid. He has asked our adult children how I am doing but he has not phoned me either. I have been<BR>attending my daily meetings and have felt a <BR>bit better about myself and my disease but I don't know when I should approach him or how.<P>Do I call him or meet him at our home? He'll come when I ask. Do I tell him I love him and that I understand his pain and hurt? Do I tell him how much I'm hurting? If I do will this empower him more and make him harder to get to? What do I say? Or do I just continue to avoid him and make him think a little about our relationship. He told our son that he hopes that I am accepting it and asked my daughter how I was doing (she said, "She's ok". <P>Please someone help me with these things, I need some guidance so I don't mess things up more.<BR>kb<P><BR>

kb, YES YES AND YES. Tell him that you love him and you're hurting be open and honest. Hiding your feelings will get you nowhere. Try not to argue with him if he dosen't respond to you the way you want him to. Be patient give him time to think. Don't be to needy. These are all the mistakes I made but I'm still trying to fix them if someone wouldhave given me this advice at the beginning we'd prob. be back together by now. Also keep praying God will answer your prayers in his own time. For now you must communicate tell him everything that you're feeling don't hide anything. Good luck. I'll pray for you. Kathy