<BR>My husband of 5yrs left me for his boss when I was 2mos pregnant with his child. We tried for months to conceive and when we did he left. He says he's unhappy but won't say why. I had no idea there were any problems he never gave me a clue. He filed for divorce and I don't know how to change his mind. I've tried everything. I love him very much we've been together for 11 yrs married 5. Since he's been involved with this other women he's self distructing. In 10 mos he's had 2 drunk drivings an accident and a 100 dollar speeding ticket this is a 31 yr old man with a completely clean driving record till now. He apparently has issues to deal with and I want to help but he pushes me away. Alls I want is a chance to make our marriage work even if the divorce goes through. I believe in my heart that we were meant to be together and pray everyday that something gives. Right now we get along for our daughters sake. He's a good man I believe he was manipulated by his boss and just dosen't see it.

Welcome...You may want to post this under one of the infidelity forum areas to get best response. There are several folks there with similar situations and will have better advice than I do. This site has a lot of good info. If you haven't already, read the Basic Concepts and Infidelity sections of the home page.<BR>Hang in there--<BR>Kathi

Amanda,<P>I agree that you should be posting your question on one of the infidelity boards but...<BR>There were a couple of things in your post I would like to respond to.<P>First you need to realize that you can not change your H mind. You will be able to do some things to increase the likelihood that he will come back. They have to do with meeting each others emotional needs and avoiding love busters. You can read about both topics on this site. The things you learn here about meeting his emotional needs and especially about avoiding love busters will help during the reconciliation process if you two get to that.<P>The other thing I saw in your post was that you seem to want to put the responsibility for your H actions on the OW. Many things probably contributed to his decision to have this affair but HE made the choice to actually do it. You will not be doing him any good if you allow him to blame others for his actions. That is not a solid footing for rebuilding a relationship.<P>On a more positive note - It sounds to me like he is about to crash in his new relationship. Everything he was is in conflict with what he is doing now. Often people have be taken very low before they wake up. Please go to the infidelity boards and get sound advice and a lot of compassion from folks who have walked in your shoes.<P>God Bless

Amanda, my heart goes out to you and your children. Believe it or not, I am walking in the same shoes you are in. I love my husband very much, I did everything that I new within my power to save my marriage. But it did not go for the better. I feel your pain. When I read your letter, I had a lot of memories, that brought back so much pain. My advice to you right now is to let go and let God, dwell with your husband. Who's knows him best beside God, YOU. He has been caught up in the materialistic of the affair. When he comes off the high that he is on. Be there for your husband. Believe what God has joined together, let no man put assunder. Sometimes we have to let go to see what we really have. If you pray and believe God will bring your husband back, and he will be a better husband, father, and friend.<P>Keep in touch, I would love to hear from you.<p>[This message has been edited by believe n god (edited June 22, 2001).]