I am so upset right now. My H has gone away to Mexico with a single friend - I did not agree to it at first since it put us into debt and it was with a single guy, and b/c it was just a bad time to go. We have gone through hell and back in the last 10 years and we are finally working our way back to bieng close again, I was in a withdrawl stage for a very long time - I couldn't handle the fighting, jelousy and disrespect anymore. I have come out of that and I am working my way back to him. This is a critical time in ourrelationship and I don't think he should of gone at this point. He just got mad at me and didn't see my point. <BR> Anyways, I ended up agreeing to it and told him that he had to sware he would phone me and agree to certain things in certain<BR> circumstances. He was all for it and was grateful I let him go. He assured me he wasn't going there with the intention to party - but to sight see and snorkel. Well I got him to sware he would phone me the night he got there - Saturday, to know he would be okay and let me and his daughters know he got there safe. WEll I didn't hear<BR> from him until Sunday night at 10:00 p.m. (when kids are asleep) I was obviously very worried and was thinking the worst - he was<BR>hurt etc.. He told me also he is not going there to Party. Well he phoned me - drunk, the phone cut off twice after 2 minutes, he said he tried to get through but couldn't, I asked him if he tried to at least call during the day - he didn't. (I do have call id and a machine - so I know he didn't try) I was so upset that he would take the time to go out and get drunk with his friend (who was yelling whoo hoo in the background which really pissed me off) but not to get a hold of his family to let us know where he was and let us know he was okay. It shows no respect for us and it really upsets me, he phoned twice in twenty minutes, but didn't try a third time - we got cut off first two times (I am sure he was using coins in pay phone, he could of at least found a way to get a hold of me or got more money, he had all day to do that) I am so angry<BR> and if he doesn't try to phone me tonight I will be so upset and angry. Am I over reacting or do I have a point in this? I really needed to vent - I am just so upset right now and wonder why I put up with him and let him go ahead with things I don't agree on as I have always done in the past which ended up hurting us as a couple. <BR>Man why do realtionships have to be so complicated!!!

fedup,<P>This IS the place to vent! Get all your frustration out here. You need to do that so that when he calls next time you can frankly, but without Love Busting, communicate that you are hurt that he seems to be unwilling to live up to the agreement you two had made about this trip. Maybe some other folks here can give you the right words to try and use to communicate both your feeling and your desire to strengthen your marriage. The most important thing is to keep your cool when you talk to him next time. <p>[This message has been edited by Mudder (edited March 13, 2000).]

You are right,I do need to keep my cool!<BR>Which is very hard to do sometimes, I know that I have tried to not love bust and it has made tremendous improvements, I just hope I can talk to him again without getting angry,<BR>it does help to vent here and thanks for answering