I'm getting more and more frustrated every day. My husband does not talk to me or care at all what is going on with me, or us, except as to how it may impact "his" finances. We basically have a non-marriage in my eyes. He is blissful because I have tried valiantly to meet all of his needs to avoid his anger and violence over the years. Now that he has stopped the angry outbursts (since he came into some money) the sex has been fine. But none of my important needs are being addressed and he won't talk, read anything or admit there is a problem. Rather than face anything he would like to split up.<P>I've broken off with the OM a couple of times. NO longer in love, thank goodness, but I'm just not willing to give up a friendship when I have so few in my life. (It was mostly an EA, with a little kissing.) The only reason it died down is because I do NOT want to be an infidel. But now what do I do? We are incompatible as far as I'm concerned. H is blissful and I'm frustrated and terribly lonely. I'm in withdrawal and H is in Intimacy. I'm chicken to start a fight because it could be very dangerous to my physical well-being. He won't even negotiate when in INTIMACY!!! Because when he is in intimacy, he still doesn't know how to care about any one else.<P>Can I do anything to move the marriage forward from here without his cooperation? Maybe by stealth methods? He has no clue!! I told him how shaky the marriage is and he said if I thought I could do better to go for it! Even though we have a 5 year old daughter! (But he was never an involved parent. My friends all have always thought of me as a single mom for the past 5 years because h has put in almost no parenting time.)<P>I do want to work on the marriage. I do not want to have an affair. But he is driving me to it! How can I be strong and just say no when every flaky loser who is nice to me looks like such an improvement over what I have at home? I just melt! Need to find a way to get my emotional needs met without being beaten up for expressing them, literally. Let's not even talk about expressing Honesty and Openness! <BR><P>------------------<BR>A true friend is one who not only is willing to love us the way we are, but is able to leave us better than he found us.

Dear Karenna,<BR> Excuse me but I am very confused? I got your reply to my situation (assuming you read All of this Forum) and now I just ran across this article of yours. How can you be in your occupation and be also in your situation. I am confused? Don't think I want an attorney yet, although it is possibly soon in coming and have spoken with one already and was ready to move on it the very next day after he started chasing me down all over town to get me to listen to him. Of course I believed he wanted his family back forever and nothing changed. But that was a long time ago in November. He has been back and we tried, and now we are separated again. I kicked him out due to neglect, abuse, not being important to him, no sex, you name it.????????:-( Want him back bad, but not like it was.

Amazing isn't it Celest? No, H has never actually laid a finger on me in anger or his tush would be in jail. We've been together since BEFORE law school and have a six year old child. H has always done just enough good or just not quite enough bad for me to walk out. Physically. Emotionally I left a few months ago. Because I know what I am doing legally I am not at his mercy.<P>A miracle did occur this morning. He started to read His Needs Her Needs. I guess we do have negotiations, but only when H opens them. I was able to tell him how detached I really am because of his behaviors and he did pay attention. These forums have kept me around long enough to actually see forward progress!<P>------------------<BR>A true friend is one who not only is willing to love us the way we are, but is able to leave us better than he found us.