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Joined: May 2000
Posts: 4
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: May 2000
Posts: 4 |
I have recently remarried and have 2 children in school. My husband and I both grew up in the same home town and re-met almost 2 years ago.<BR>He wants to stay in the north and I want to stay in the southeast. It is not the same back there and there isn't much there as far as children's activities, parks, etc.<BR>It seems that there is more where I live and economically this would be the better choice. I have a good job here and my husband has an income from a retirement. If we go north, we will have only his income, which right now, is not enough to support a family of four. He wants to stay there for sentimental and emotional reasons and it seems, would be willing to throw in the towel to stay where he is. I don't know what to do.
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Joined: May 2000
Posts: 30
Member
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Member
Joined: May 2000
Posts: 30 |
I don't know if it will help anything, but I want you to know I understand a husband who wants to move somewhere you don't want to go. My husband and I move constantly. I recently put up a big fight when he suggested yet another move and a week later he told me he wanted to leave me. I doubt that this is the only reason, but I know that if I had realized how much it meant to him, it wouldn't have bothered me so much. Now I am stuck trying desparately to keep him here before he goes, which is in less than a week. My suggestion to you is to think hard about whether this is something that is a very serious issue for you before you make it a conflict. It sounds like you are most concerned about the financial implications. Is there any way to compromise? Perhaps suggest that you would be willing to move north if he has found a good job that will support you first? Or maybe suggest trying it for a time, say, 2-3 years and if it isn't enjoyable for you thinking about giving the southeast a second chance. Of course with school-age children, the prospect of moving frequently can be a touchy subject, so you may need to get their input on that. Good luck, not wanting to move when your spouse does is a very difficult situation. I'm sure with some understanding negotiations, you can come up with something.
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Joined: May 2000
Posts: 5
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: May 2000
Posts: 5 |
You say he would be willing to throw in the towel to stay where he is! Well, call me Dr. Laura, but I firmly believe that the best interest of the children should come first. Were living arrangements determined before you married? Would he be willing to try living in the south for a couple of years? My feeling is, that moving and a new step-father may be just a bit much for the children to handle right now. But, of course, you are the best judge of that. You've got such a difficult decision to make. My heart goes out to you.
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