When H and i just married, we decided that the best way to save was to join our salaries, fix an amount for our own expenses, pay our house expenses and the rest will stay in a bank account (almost untouchable) for emergencies and for saving to buy an appartment (done).<BR>When we began to have marital problems he said that it was better to separate our salaries, i told him that i was not agree because that way we won´t save anymore (he cannot control his own expenses)but i had to do that. We divided (60/40) the baby's and house expenses and the rest stays with eachone, since then we couldn't buy anything else for our home and we do not have any savings as a family(as i predicted before doing this).<P>One day we suffer a car crush and the car (better my car) was seriously affected, we have been following legal actions and bla,bla,bla....... OK, the point is that at last i can recover my car after paying a high fee, my H said he could pay about 75% of that fee and i will pay the rest and i was agree. <BR>Well i decided to sell that car, but i think that the money from that sale is MINE not ours (i bought this car when i was single, and now ) and he said that WE can use that money (the money from selling the car) to pay the fee to recover the car.<P>I do not think it is fair because right now H has other incomes that never shares with me or with our family, i do not know what he does with that money.<BR>I would like to say to him that the car is mine so he has to pay his part as we agreed before and the rest of the money will be in my account. Oh God these are the though consequences of having separate accounts. <BR>So i am wondering if i say to him that the money is mine would that be consider as LBing? Maybe this take us 4 steps backward in my way to recover our marriage. But on the other hand if i don't say anything and let him do this, that will make me feel angry with him (his salary is twice mine!!!). <BR>How can i negotiate this without love busting? My marriage is still very fragil, so it can be broken with very small things. <BR>Please urgent advices.<P>

first problem, separate accounts. either you are married or not. no secrets, no separates. become one. your expenses and incomes are neither yours not his, but belong to the both of you, and should be handled by the both of you. you should review the Policy of Joint Agreement and try and get him to go along with it. it just makes good sense to base a marriage on total commitment, which POJA is. without total commitment, there is no commitment.