My husband gets very verbally abusive when he drinks. He likes to argue with everyone and usually gets loud and offends people. My sister was coming to our home as a weekend houseguest after not seeing her for one year. I very nicely asked my husband not to drink while she was in the house to avoid any conflict either with her or me during her visit. He never said anything but the entire weekend he did not talk to me and only to her if she directly asked a question. He didn't participate in anything we did. It was quite embarassing to me and I felt uncomfortable the entire visit as did she. Her leaving remark to me was "Is this how you live?". I explained my feelings to him after she left. Of course, the tears came down. He said he was better off not talking and he couldn't be accused of anything. We haven't spoken for two weeks now. How do I get over this hurt and embarassment? We have been married for forty years and this is the same story over and over, different senerio and I'm tired.

Ma'am -<P>If your basic personality changes when you drink, this is a rather clear sign of alcoholism. <P>This is not something you need to get over, it is a disease requiring treatment. <P>I recommend Al-Anon for you, and Alcoholics Anonymous for your husband. Look in the phone book. <P>Your husband sounds like an angry drunk. Alcohol tends to exaggerate the basic personality types, so you wind up either an angry drunk, a silly drunk, a depressed drunk, or a sodden drunk. Treatment of all types is the same.<P>Alcoholism is not a disease that gets better on its own. Good luck.<P>Regards,<BR>rs0522