My husband and I almost never see eye to eye on things. He complains about every little thing. I sometimes argue back with him because I am so frastrated with him but, most of the time, I just sit back and listen to him. My God! I have never met a person that's so full of anger. I am trying to stay in love with him but, he makes it very hard with his messed up attitude. I feel like I have to kiss his butt and walk on egg shells around him. Lord have mercy what am I to do?<P>------------------<BR>Dianne Goodman-Welch

Greetings fellow eggshell walker,<P>Welcome to Marriage Builders. I encourage you to check out all the information available here, especially the Emotional Needs section.<P>I too walk on eggshells with my spouse. I have to for different reasons than you, my wife retreats into depression if I step on the eggs rather than getting angry. But, each behavior is triggered by a learned behavior....Trying to have Control. <P>Is there a reason for your husband's anger? Could it be something from his past? Does he feel that his life is out of control? Helpless in his job? Missing something in his life? Not feeling appreciated?<P>Does he admit that he is a complainer? Does he realize that little things bother him? Does he realize that he is angry?<P>If he does, maybe you and your H can develop a code phrase or word that clues him in on the beginning of such behaviors. Along with that, you can ask him to determine what his emotional needs are and then try to meet them. If he's open, maybe he could try and do the same for you....if he's not, do it any way. This is Plan A.<P>But, don't kick the marriage to the curb....just give yourself a time frame to see change....just a little change. Change in marriage can be very slow (experience speaking here) and there maybe relapses from time to time.<P>Hang in There!