My wife of less than 1 year has an annoying and what I consider to be an unacceptable behavior. It has to do with foul language coming from her mouth. The first time that I mentioned to her that I did not like it she became angry and proceded to chew me out for preaching to her. The behavior has continued and needless to say I am scared to even approach her on the issue. Should I just drop it and let it continue? Does anyone have any advice on how to have a rational conversation with her? She tends to become very defensive when I try to talk to her about an issue such as this. Thanks

Christian,<P> You cannot change another person, my H cursed all the time also. I was told by counselor, to leave the room when H started cursing, remove his audience. It worked. Now he expresses himself without the foul language, or he is talking to himself. <P> Hope this helps<P> Toni

Did this behavior just manifest itself, or is it something that she's always done and you just accepted it earlier in the relationship? People sometimes use this language when angry because they feel, consciously or subconsciously, that it makes them seem more forceful and better communicates real anger. If this is a life-long habit, it's not likely that she'll stop unless she sees value in changing the behavior.<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Christian:<BR><B>My wife of less than 1 year has an annoying and what I consider to be an unacceptable behavior. It has to do with foul language coming from her mouth. The first time that I mentioned to her that I did not like it she became angry and proceded to chew me out for preaching to her. The behavior has continued and needless to say I am scared to even approach her on the issue. Should I just drop it and let it continue? Does anyone have any advice on how to have a rational conversation with her? She tends to become very defensive when I try to talk to her about an issue such as this. Thanks</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>

Hello Christian.<P>Just a couple of thoughts.<P>First, I think that you sould be curious as to why she doesn't seem to care that it bothers you. It's possible that there is something about you that she finds annoying, and you haven't changed so she won't. It's also possible that you aren't fulfilling enough of her emotional needs so that she truly cares how you feel and wants to make you happy.<P>Second, depending on how you approach her about it, she could feel that you're passing judgement on her. That you're telling her how to be a better person, and that you don't feel that she is when she swears. She may even feel that you think that you are superior to her as you can communicate with out swearing.<P>Third, look at her work and/or social environment. It's very easy for someone who is around swearing in the workplace to pick it up as a second language, not think about it, and not think that there is anything wrong with it.<P>I guess what I am saying, is to take a look at the situation through her eyes, instead of your own. You may at least come to some conclusions as to why, which will allow you to better understand what to do.