We have been married 5 years. Our anniversary was this past Saturday. On the day before, she packed 3 suitcases and left me. Sure our marriage had it's problems, taking things for granted, staying up later in front of the tube than I should rather than coming to bed, etc. But we have something special, and I am afraid it is almost gone. I don't know what to do. I'll start with some background. Our financial situation isn't the best, but we dealt with it. Or so I thought. We sold our home to move into a small apartment to regroup and get our finances in order. It was touch, but we did it, in order to straighten things out so we could eventually move into a house and start a family. Over the past 3 months I became very diligent about the finances and wanting open communication regarding what was spent and whatnot. It became an obsession, but only because I wanted what was best for us and to climb out of the hole as quickly as possible. I pay all the bills, so it is important that I know what is in the account. I would ask if there was any money taken, and my reason for asking, and would be told no. Only to find out the next morning while using our automated phone teller system that a substantial amount was removed. This went on and on, with no end. I was scared because I really wanted our situation to get better so we could get on with our lives. That being said, other things were different, but I didn't realize their full impact until just recently. The intamacy seemed to fade. The hugs weren't as strong, the kisses seemed different. But I passed them off as just something she has going on. Nothing was ever said to me that there was a problem or feelings changed. I aksed, but would never get any answer, and would get assurances that everything was "alright". During one of our money "conversations" she threatened to get her own account so she could operate without me breathing down her neck regarding cash. I was shocked. I saw it as a separation of what we were both supposed to be working together. We agreed that was not a good idea. Or so I thought. I got the mail this past week and found an envelope. In the letter was information on her new account and that her payroll was now being deposited in that account as opposed to our joint account. I flipped. I was angry because we had talked about it. So after some yelling and some words (not so nice) were exchanged, we calmed down and talked. Something was definitely wrong. She was distant. I asked questions about us and our longevity and got no response. A shock went down my entire body. I told her I see us growing old together and I just want us to get over this $$ issue and get the house with the yard and the basement and the dog, etc. She started crying and I culdn't get a word from her. I asked if she was leaving and she said no. Thought about it? Yes. Thought we patched it up for at least the night and went to sleep. She got up and I got up with her. Still feeling something was terribly wrong. I asked her to come home after work and again we exchanged assurances that we would square things up later that day. By 10 am she was back packing up and leaving. I got home and saw something was wrong and was met by a letter that said to meet her. She said she needed to work some things out with herself. She was feeling different and couldn't put her finger on it. She didn't want to hurt me. I asked er to come back home, she declined, saying she needed to stay were she was. I left, and did more thinking than I ever remember doing before. The next morning, I stopped by and ran by somethings I thought it would be and thought we had a good conversation. She mentioned she got a 2nd job. I was surprised, but was very supportive. I wondered if it was to better our situation, or to distance herself even more. She said it was to better our situation. I asked her to come home, that we could work on it. She agreed. I thought - great, one step in the right direction. At least she is coming home. We were helping some friends and she said she would meet me later. She arrived, and was very cold. I was confused. Why so distant? I didn't expect everything to be rosy, but I was shocked at the reception I received. I tryed to involve her in conversation, and to laugh with her, but got a wall everytime. I was scared. Later, we decided to go home. We left for home, in separate cars. We got home and I offered to grab her bags, but she said she would get them later. I asked if she was eally staying. Once - no answer. The second time, she said no. My heart sunk. She said she didn't love me the way a wife should love a husband. That it wasn't fair to either of us. I was more scared than I have ever been. I love her with all my heart, and I am so confused. I asked again about the job, knowing the answer. It was to add to her income so she could take on her bills 100%. In the past 3 days, I have discovered a new job, she has obtained a new apartment, and her bill addresses have all been changed. I don't understand why she is running so FAST. I am setting up counseling, in the hopes that we can find out what is wrong. She says she can't put her finger on it. I don't think we should throw away 5 years based on something we cannot put our finger on. She will go, but doesn't know how counseling will change how she feels inside. I figured it may uncover something right? Our love has to be worth that shot, right? I am so confused and sad. I am worried about her, I love her, she is my best friend. She said it would be easier if I was angry and mean. I can't be that way towards her. I care about her. How she is, where she is. I have responsibilities to her. I Promised to take care of her and make sure she never felt alone. I found out about her new place. I asked about it. I know it is difficult financially with the first payment because they always want 1 month +. So I gave her some cash. She hesitantly accepted. I gave her some things she will need there. Some food she likes. There is no TV there. I bought a few anniversary gifts fr her I am returning tonight and getting her a small TV. I just can't stand to see her sad. I want her to know I love her and I will always be her friend. I just can't abandon my feelings. I only hope she remembers her loving feelings for me, because I can't imagine my live without her in it. I just don't understand why this is happening. I miss her so much. I miss her smile. I have been crying for the past 4 days. I never thought I would ever feel such lonliness. It is a feeling neither of us were ever supposed to feel. <P><BR> <p>[This message has been edited by Broken Heart 1216 (edited December 20, 2000).]